KIN-DZA-DZA! PART:1 (srt-format subtitles)
Добавлено:
12-06, 14:17
Соловей
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Subtitles: kin-dza-dza.org.ru
Based on the subtitles by
SadGeezer & NewKate
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00:00:03,599 --> 00:00:06,017
Subtitles: kin-dza-dza.org.ru
Editor in chief:
Durtz
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Subtitles: kin-dza-dza.org.ru
Translators: Nightingale (ta JD),
Karabister, Cactus of Alpha
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The Creative Union
of Comedy and Musical Films
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presents
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Kin-Dza-Dza!
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Stanislav LYUBSHIN
as Mashkov
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Evgeni LEONOV
as Wef
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Yuri YAKOVLEV
as Bee
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and introducing
Levan GABRIADZE
as Gedevan
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Screenplay
Revaz GABRIADZE
Georgi DANELIA
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Director
Georgi DANELIA
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Cinematography
Pavel LEBESHEV
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Production Design
Alexander SAMULEKIN
Theodor TEZHIK
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00:00:58,835 --> 00:01:02,698
Original Music
Gia KANCHELI
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00:01:03,119 --> 00:01:06,881
Sound
Yekaterina POPOVA-EVANS
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Assistant Director &
Special Effects Supervisor
Sergei KHRAMTSOV
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Second Unit Directors:
Leonid BITZ
Karen GEVORKIAN
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Co-starring
Anatoli SIRENKO
as the Barefoot Wanderer
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Irina SHMELYOVA
as Tsan, the cart driver
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Galina DANELIA-YURKOVA
as Mashkov's wife
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Alexander LITOVKIN
as Gor, the gang leader
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Lev PERFILOV
as Kyrr, the dissident
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Tatiana NOVITSKAYA
as Lady Tinai
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Special Appearance of
Olga MASHNAYA
as Ms Dekont
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...and Georgi DANELIA
as Abradox
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Thanks to all members
of kin-dza-dza.org.ru
community,
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especially
Andy Hurwitz, Vitaly Koissin...
...and Google
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KIN-DZA-DZA!
Part One
30
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Hi
31
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Hi
32
00:02:12,645 --> 00:02:13,830
(Lucy: )
What's new?
33
00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:17,375
(Mashkov: )
Manokhin's had pipes burst
at his building site
34
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,538
(song on TV: )
"...Mama, mama,
what shall I do?"
35
00:02:37,830 --> 00:02:40,147
"How will I manage
when winter comes?"
36
00:02:40,474 --> 00:02:42,620
"I have got
no winter coat."
37
00:02:42,991 --> 00:02:45,350
"I have got
no winter hat..."
38
00:02:51,328 --> 00:02:53,328
(Mashkov: )
How's our honor student?
39
00:02:53,946 --> 00:02:55,457
(Lucy: )
He's out somewhere...
40
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:59,720
Vova, can you fetch some bread?
I forgot.
41
00:03:02,586 --> 00:03:04,758
And get some macaroni, OK?
42
00:03:19,277 --> 00:03:20,196
Comrade,
43
00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:22,307
a man there says
he's from another planet...
44
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:23,938
we have to do something!
45
00:03:24,187 --> 00:03:25,561
- Call the ambulance.
46
00:03:25,822 --> 00:03:29,239
- I will... but he's almost barefoot -
he'll catch a cold.
47
00:03:33,597 --> 00:03:35,253
- Hello!
- Hello.
48
00:03:35,837 --> 00:03:37,966
Excuse my bad smell.
49
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It's cold.
I took this from that metal chest.
50
00:03:40,822 --> 00:03:41,698
Well done.
51
00:03:41,818 --> 00:03:42,874
Friend!
52
00:03:43,299 --> 00:03:45,859
Can you tell me your planet number
in the Tenture?
53
00:03:45,979 --> 00:03:48,631
Or at least your galaxy number
in the Spiral?
54
00:03:48,883 --> 00:03:52,617
I've got the contacts mixed up
and now I can't get home.
55
00:03:52,949 --> 00:03:54,452
We don't know the number,
my friend.
56
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We forgot it.
57
00:03:56,773 --> 00:03:59,389
Now, this lad will call
the information office,
58
00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:02,636
and we'll wait for him together
in the bakery, OK?
59
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,481
Here, put this on.
60
00:04:04,707 --> 00:04:05,934
Thank you...
61
00:04:06,269 --> 00:04:08,003
Listen, friends.
62
00:04:08,355 --> 00:04:11,778
There's no need for the bakery,
no need for information.
63
00:04:12,105 --> 00:04:13,581
This is my planet...
64
00:04:14,795 --> 00:04:19,676
Uzm, 247 in the Tenture,
Beta galaxy in the Spiral.
65
00:04:20,182 --> 00:04:23,813
This is my space transfer machine...
66
00:04:24,179 --> 00:04:28,007
So, which contact do I press
to transfer home?
67
00:04:28,303 --> 00:04:31,101
You do understand
the time is relative, don't you?
68
00:04:31,427 --> 00:04:32,749
OK, I have a proposition.
69
00:04:32,869 --> 00:04:34,972
We'll just press a contact...
70
00:04:35,461 --> 00:04:37,317
...and transfer to your place.
71
00:04:37,437 --> 00:04:40,009
But if the machine doesn't work,
72
00:04:40,267 --> 00:04:44,370
then you transfer with us
to where we transfer you, OK?
73
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,681
No, you can't just press it!..
You have to know...
74
00:04:47,801 --> 00:04:50,453
Sure I can, my friend.
75
00:05:08,097 --> 00:05:10,219
And YOU... what can you see?
Eh?
76
00:05:10,339 --> 00:05:11,655
(Gedevan: )
Sand...
77
00:05:11,775 --> 00:05:14,827
So that stupid gadget worked...
78
00:05:18,162 --> 00:05:22,596
And that jerk with the holes,
was he left behind?
79
00:05:24,436 --> 00:05:26,965
Calm down... calm down...
80
00:05:29,303 --> 00:05:33,042
There's the sun, there's sand,
there's gravity.
81
00:05:33,162 --> 00:05:37,022
So where are we?
We're on Earth. Or...
82
00:05:37,142 --> 00:05:37,871
(Gedevan: )
Or?
83
00:05:37,991 --> 00:05:42,437
No, let's take it we're on Earth,
in some desert... Eh?
84
00:05:42,962 --> 00:05:47,068
The Karakum?
What other deserts do we have?
85
00:05:47,322 --> 00:05:48,575
(Gedevan: )
Gobi, Sahara...
86
00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:49,960
No, I said WE have!
87
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,588
We have also the Kyzyl-Kum.
88
00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:58,237
No. Let's take it that it's
the Karakum.
89
00:05:59,978 --> 00:06:01,637
OK?
So that means...
90
00:06:02,097 --> 00:06:05,737
The sun's to the west...
so, Ashkhabad is this way.
91
00:06:06,164 --> 00:06:08,765
Got it?
Let's go!
92
00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:17,560
Come on... let's go!
93
00:06:42,552 --> 00:06:44,020
Comrade,
94
00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:46,878
what's your name?
95
00:06:46,998 --> 00:06:48,964
Vladimir Nikolaevich.
96
00:06:49,814 --> 00:06:51,616
My name is Gedevan.
97
00:06:51,882 --> 00:06:54,243
Pleased to meet you...
98
00:07:10,037 --> 00:07:13,453
You have a bottle in your case,
is it wine?
99
00:07:14,176 --> 00:07:17,493
No, it's vinegar.
100
00:07:20,949 --> 00:07:24,483
I also have some herbs -
kindza.
('coriander' in Georgian)
101
00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:26,894
Oh... We're all set then.
102
00:07:31,894 --> 00:07:33,384
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
103
00:07:33,504 --> 00:07:35,929
do you remember
the number he mentioned,
104
00:07:36,049 --> 00:07:38,595
the guy who took my sock?
105
00:07:38,715 --> 00:07:39,416
No.
106
00:07:40,763 --> 00:07:44,540
Maybe we're on the planet
he came from?
107
00:07:44,742 --> 00:07:46,319
Listen, Fiddler!
108
00:07:47,028 --> 00:07:49,842
Whatever we guess,
it won’t change a damn thing!
109
00:07:49,962 --> 00:07:52,872
The direction is chosen.
Just go!
110
00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:57,430
The key is to get to the water.
Got it?
111
00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:03,967
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
I want to change into slippers.
112
00:08:04,087 --> 00:08:05,708
Well, do it!
113
00:08:05,828 --> 00:08:07,444
Then WAIT!
114
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,519
What's the time?
115
00:08:17,639 --> 00:08:18,932
Four.
116
00:08:19,359 --> 00:08:20,574
In the morning?
117
00:08:20,924 --> 00:08:22,381
Yes...
118
00:08:28,228 --> 00:08:29,936
(Mashkov: )
Getting late?
119
00:08:31,085 --> 00:08:33,998
It's quite awkward...
I phoned from the airport,
120
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:35,218
said I'd be in an hour...
121
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,940
and here we are...
122
00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:39,274
You study music?
123
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:43,599
(Gedevan: )
No, it's not mine.
Professor Rogozin’s one.
124
00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:48,523
He gave a concert in my hometown.
After, they forgot to put
125
00:08:48,643 --> 00:08:49,914
the violin on the plane.
126
00:08:50,506 --> 00:08:51,546
A banquet?
127
00:08:51,666 --> 00:08:52,784
No, just a dinner...
128
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,469
Aha.
Are you from Tbilisi?
129
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,037
(Gedevan: )
No, Batumi.
130
00:08:58,590 --> 00:09:01,974
I thought I'd return the violin,
and still have time to catch the train.
131
00:09:02,094 --> 00:09:04,930
I study in Textile Institute in Ivanovo.
132
00:09:05,324 --> 00:09:06,178
Aha...
133
00:09:06,298 --> 00:09:10,377
First, I wanted to study in MGIMO,
the institute of international relations,
134
00:09:10,596 --> 00:09:12,392
but they said...
135
00:09:12,705 --> 00:09:13,745
Quiet!...
136
00:10:09,939 --> 00:10:11,588
- Koo!
137
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:13,909
- A man...
138
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:17,195
- Koo!
139
00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:20,750
- Koo.
- Hello...
140
00:10:33,519 --> 00:10:34,995
- Koo!
141
00:10:36,557 --> 00:10:38,302
It's a capitalist country.
142
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:49,833
(Two men are singing: )
Koo! Koo! Koo! Wuuuu!!!
143
00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,606
Gedevan! Do you speak
any foreign languages?
144
00:11:00,726 --> 00:11:03,267
English. A little French.
145
00:11:03,776 --> 00:11:05,944
Tell them we have no money...
146
00:11:08,758 --> 00:11:10,765
Tell them!
They want to be paid!
147
00:11:10,885 --> 00:11:16,009
(Gedevan - in English: )
Gentlemen, sorry!
We haven't money... now!
148
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,448
- Koo?!
149
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,649
Hello!
150
00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:40,201
We are Soviet tourists.
We lost our group.
151
00:11:40,536 --> 00:11:44,413
Take us to the nearest city,
and then we'll manage by ourselves...
152
00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:45,606
...Translate, Fiddler.
153
00:11:45,726 --> 00:11:47,794
(Gedevan - in English: )
Do you speak English?
154
00:11:48,248 --> 00:11:49,256
(The stranger: ) – Koo?
155
00:11:50,471 --> 00:11:52,540
- Parlez-francais?
- Koo...
156
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:54,920
Hi!
157
00:11:56,256 --> 00:11:57,824
Do you speak English?
158
00:11:58,536 --> 00:12:00,058
Parlez-francais?
159
00:12:03,218 --> 00:12:04,839
...Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
160
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,478
- Koo!
161
00:12:13,973 --> 00:12:15,057
Chatl!
162
00:12:17,774 --> 00:12:19,197
No money...
163
00:12:19,317 --> 00:12:23,467
money, passports, dollars...
everything's left with the tour guide.
164
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:25,299
It just so happened...
165
00:12:25,419 --> 00:12:28,928
We walked away for a moment...
and got lost in the sands.
166
00:12:29,151 --> 00:12:30,673
- Grr... Kyoo.
167
00:12:43,251 --> 00:12:45,709
- Take it. It's warm.
168
00:12:47,236 --> 00:12:48,180
- Koo!
169
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:49,677
Pardon, what?
170
00:12:50,293 --> 00:12:51,730
- Koo!
171
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,436
- You want my hat? OK.
172
00:13:04,128 --> 00:13:07,051
I'm sorry, it's not mine,
I can't give it away...
173
00:13:12,382 --> 00:13:14,604
(Gedevan: )
There's nothing in there.
174
00:13:14,823 --> 00:13:15,852
(Mashkov: )
Open it.
175
00:13:22,074 --> 00:13:24,779
(Gedevan: )
It's not wine, it's vinegar.
176
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,542
(The stranger: ) – Koo!
177
00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:34,300
- Weeeh... Kyoo...
178
00:13:34,511 --> 00:13:36,019
- Sour, right?
179
00:13:46,053 --> 00:13:48,199
Well, friend, so that's settled?
180
00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:49,747
You’ll give us a lift?..
181
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,735
Fiddler, hurry up!..
182
00:13:57,828 --> 00:13:59,597
As I said, just to the nearest city!
183
00:13:59,776 --> 00:14:01,925
Once there,
we'll easily find the way!
184
00:14:02,246 --> 00:14:03,253
- Koo!
185
00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:06,910
- The jacket now...
186
00:14:16,575 --> 00:14:17,984
(Mashkov: )
- Bastards!
187
00:14:25,441 --> 00:14:27,891
(Gedevan: )
- Glad I didn't give them the violin.
188
00:14:47,775 --> 00:14:50,131
(Gedevan: )
Looks like they're ashamed!
189
00:15:06,207 --> 00:15:07,500
Ketse!
190
00:15:08,234 --> 00:15:09,594
Ketse!!
191
00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:11,444
Ketse.
192
00:15:11,729 --> 00:15:12,924
- What does it mean, 'ketse'?
193
00:15:13,044 --> 00:15:14,090
- Ketse!
194
00:15:14,683 --> 00:15:15,500
Ketse.
195
00:15:17,491 --> 00:15:19,517
He seems to want a match.
196
00:15:19,726 --> 00:15:21,292
- You want a match?
197
00:15:21,412 --> 00:15:22,315
- Ketse!
198
00:15:27,168 --> 00:15:28,727
Here. It’s yours.
199
00:15:39,578 --> 00:15:40,526
- Koo!
200
00:15:44,781 --> 00:15:46,118
- The whole box?
201
00:15:46,271 --> 00:15:47,180
- Koo!
202
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:51,606
Take us away from here,
and we'll give you 'koo'.
203
00:17:08,809 --> 00:17:10,876
Not a single letter,
204
00:17:11,188 --> 00:17:13,200
not a single 'made in' label...
205
00:17:16,524 --> 00:17:17,739
- Koo!
206
00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:24,032
- Sorry, I don't understand...
207
00:17:24,152 --> 00:17:25,220
- Koo!
208
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,920
- Sprechen Sie Turkisch?
209
00:17:30,145 --> 00:17:31,163
- Kyoo!
210
00:17:34,255 --> 00:17:35,284
- Koo
211
00:17:39,507 --> 00:17:41,252
- What do they want?
212
00:17:43,178 --> 00:17:44,988
KOO they want!
213
00:18:01,041 --> 00:18:02,067
Tsak!
214
00:18:03,181 --> 00:18:04,418
Thank you...
215
00:18:08,662 --> 00:18:09,528
- Tsak!
216
00:18:11,015 --> 00:18:13,177
- He wants me to put the bell on.
217
00:18:15,975 --> 00:18:17,162
(Mashkov: )
- Not on his life!
218
00:18:17,282 --> 00:18:18,239
- Tsak!
219
00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:21,604
Tsak...
220
00:18:22,495 --> 00:18:25,554
- I'll do it, Vladimir Nikolaevich,
if it makes him happy...
221
00:18:27,597 --> 00:18:29,552
Go ahead!
Do what you want.
222
00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:41,949
- Tsak!
223
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,622
Tsak...
224
00:18:47,008 --> 00:18:47,874
Tsak...
225
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:50,398
Tsak!
226
00:18:56,882 --> 00:18:59,470
- OK, you pushed it enough.
227
00:19:10,536 --> 00:19:11,649
Ding, ding.
228
00:19:17,131 --> 00:19:18,244
Koo.
229
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:04,249
Koo!
230
00:20:10,613 --> 00:20:11,925
- Koo!
- Koo!
231
00:20:14,485 --> 00:20:15,327
Koo.
232
00:20:17,602 --> 00:20:18,393
- Koo.
233
00:20:19,247 --> 00:20:19,903
- Koo.
234
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,005
- Koo.
235
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:25,665
- Koo.
236
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:27,749
- Koo.
237
00:20:34,725 --> 00:20:36,370
You won't mind me smoking,
will you?
238
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:39,698
- Ketse!!!
239
00:20:39,818 --> 00:20:41,631
- Calm down, calm down!
- Ketse...
240
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:49,936
- Ketse!
241
00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:36,318
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
maybe we're really on...
242
00:21:37,857 --> 00:21:40,210
Yeah right!
They’re typical Martians.
243
00:21:49,734 --> 00:21:50,699
Kyoo!
244
00:22:03,212 --> 00:22:08,445
(The tall stranger: )
Lucy darling,
damn you with your... macaroni.
245
00:22:17,385 --> 00:22:18,410
So...
246
00:22:19,622 --> 00:22:21,366
You speak Russian do you?
247
00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:25,216
Why was it necessary to conceal it?
248
00:22:25,785 --> 00:22:27,208
Well, we didn't.
249
00:22:28,845 --> 00:22:32,156
It's hard to penetrate your language,
when your thoughts are bilingual.
250
00:22:32,276 --> 00:22:36,788
And this Patsak is always talkin'
in languages, the rest of which
he doesn't know!
251
00:22:37,193 --> 00:22:40,397
What are you starin' at me,
maimuna verishvilo?!
252
00:22:41,156 --> 00:22:42,640
They speak Georgian too...
253
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:43,877
What did he say?
254
00:22:44,410 --> 00:22:45,957
Monkey son of a donkey.
255
00:22:46,077 --> 00:22:47,110
Alright.
256
00:22:48,022 --> 00:22:49,694
We're from the Soviet Union,
257
00:22:49,814 --> 00:22:51,189
here on a cultural exchange.
258
00:22:51,309 --> 00:22:52,676
Our compatriots know
where we are.
259
00:22:52,796 --> 00:22:53,676
They're looking for us.
260
00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:57,545
If you don't let us to
contact our embassy, you'll be
261
00:22:57,916 --> 00:23:00,279
in big trouble, is that clear?
262
00:23:00,734 --> 00:23:01,415
- Tsak.
263
00:23:03,246 --> 00:23:04,248
- Koo.
264
00:23:04,973 --> 00:23:06,645
We don't understand ‘embassy’.
265
00:23:06,765 --> 00:23:08,784
Put the tsak back!
266
00:23:09,302 --> 00:23:11,204
You understand macaroni,
267
00:23:11,324 --> 00:23:13,394
you understand maimuna,
268
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,472
yet you don’t know...
what's an embassy?!
269
00:23:17,968 --> 00:23:20,207
Quit messing with us!
270
00:23:20,327 --> 00:23:21,110
Got it?
271
00:23:21,230 --> 00:23:25,179
You THOUGHT about macaroni
and I just repeated it.
272
00:23:25,623 --> 00:23:28,269
It's not Earth,
not Africa, my friend.
273
00:23:29,569 --> 00:23:31,559
It's the planet Pluke,
274
00:23:32,176 --> 00:23:33,996
215 in the Tenture.
275
00:23:34,665 --> 00:23:37,040
The Kin Dza Dza galaxy
in the Spiral.
276
00:23:37,337 --> 00:23:38,426
Got it?
277
00:23:41,856 --> 00:23:44,441
Congrats... here we are.
278
00:23:47,319 --> 00:23:48,950
Put the bell on, my friend...
279
00:23:50,509 --> 00:23:51,536
Put it on.
280
00:23:56,384 --> 00:23:57,338
Good boy,
281
00:23:58,326 --> 00:23:59,674
well done.
282
00:24:03,504 --> 00:24:04,085
- Koo.
283
00:24:28,971 --> 00:24:30,275
Excuse me,
where have we landed?
284
00:24:30,395 --> 00:24:33,543
Shh!
She has very sharp ears.
285
00:24:33,963 --> 00:24:35,951
Do you know the tenture
of your planet?
286
00:24:36,071 --> 00:24:36,850
Tenture?
287
00:24:37,132 --> 00:24:40,698
Well.. tell us your
galaxy number in the Spiral.
288
00:24:40,818 --> 00:24:42,871
- In... what? In the spiral?
- Yes, in the Spiral...
289
00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:44,864
Er... The Earth is... er...
290
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:50,187
It orbits with such planets as er...
Venus, Saturn, Mars, Jupiter...
291
00:24:51,315 --> 00:24:52,996
What else,
Vladimir Nikolaevich?
292
00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:54,346
Ursa Major.
293
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,774
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
come here.
294
00:25:02,941 --> 00:25:05,830
Do you have more matches
on your planet?
295
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,635
Well, I'll try an' get some.
296
00:25:07,755 --> 00:25:10,292
How many will you give us
if we PUT you back there?
297
00:25:12,194 --> 00:25:15,498
- How many do you want?
- Two boxes like that!!
298
00:25:15,914 --> 00:25:18,161
- Seven!
- Yes! Seven!
299
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:20,309
And this box...
300
00:25:20,557 --> 00:25:23,789
Give it to me now!
I'll buy a gravitsapa.
301
00:25:24,035 --> 00:25:26,403
Excuse me,
what is a gravitsapa?
302
00:25:27,227 --> 00:25:30,966
Without a gravitsapa a pepelats
can only fly like this,
303
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:34,478
but with it you can reach
any point in the universe -
304
00:25:35,407 --> 00:25:36,420
in 5 seconds.
305
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:41,458
Hey, you've taken a pepelats out
of the garage without a gravitsapa?!
306
00:25:41,578 --> 00:25:42,445
It's no good!
307
00:25:42,565 --> 00:25:43,677
We had a gravitsapa.
308
00:25:43,797 --> 00:25:46,135
But when we came here,
it got pinched.
309
00:25:46,617 --> 00:25:48,721
Excuse me, do you have
a space transfer machine?
310
00:25:48,841 --> 00:25:50,306
- No.
- No, we have none.
311
00:25:50,577 --> 00:25:51,823
Give me the matches.
312
00:25:52,477 --> 00:25:53,636
Give us some water.
313
00:26:01,862 --> 00:26:02,948
- Kyoo!
- Kyoo!
314
00:26:03,068 --> 00:26:04,470
- Kyoo!
- Kyoo!
315
00:26:14,750 --> 00:26:15,654
Like this!
316
00:26:15,774 --> 00:26:18,888
You must do this!
You must do this!
317
00:26:19,136 --> 00:26:20,245
Do this...
318
00:26:21,971 --> 00:26:25,376
This is yours,
this is how you smoke now.
319
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,183
Thank you.
320
00:26:29,581 --> 00:26:30,290
- Koo!
321
00:26:31,708 --> 00:26:34,063
- He said they have
a gravitsapa.
322
00:26:34,867 --> 00:26:36,626
Put your matches here.
323
00:26:37,010 --> 00:26:41,846
I have a proposition.
When you PUT us on the Earth,
you'll get this and this.
324
00:26:41,966 --> 00:26:42,825
- What??
325
00:26:42,945 --> 00:26:45,319
Come on, Fiddler,
to the outer space.
326
00:26:46,524 --> 00:26:47,393
- Wait! Come back.
327
00:26:49,338 --> 00:26:50,746
Give it to me!
328
00:26:52,804 --> 00:26:55,385
- Give it to me!
- On Mother Earth you'll get them.
329
00:26:56,242 --> 00:26:57,751
Vladimir Nikolaevich!
330
00:26:58,159 --> 00:27:01,113
You said if we take you,
you'd give us all of it!
331
00:27:01,748 --> 00:27:03,516
But then you stole
this match from us!
332
00:27:03,808 --> 00:27:06,777
Patsak won't cheat on Patsak.
It's not nice, my friend...
333
00:27:06,897 --> 00:27:08,549
I said -
take us to the city!
334
00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:10,904
- And what's this?
- A barn!
335
00:27:11,024 --> 00:27:12,051
And this?
336
00:27:14,748 --> 00:27:15,848
And this?
337
00:27:16,937 --> 00:27:19,380
What's this here
- not a city?!
338
00:27:19,709 --> 00:27:21,513
Stop pissin' about!
339
00:27:22,767 --> 00:27:24,809
Let's see that gravitsapa.
340
00:27:25,289 --> 00:27:27,456
If it's major brand,
we'll take it.
341
00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:29,617
- Patsak!
342
00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:34,842
What bonehead would take
smuggled ketse
in front of witnesses?!
343
00:27:35,088 --> 00:27:37,915
You'll get life-long ecikh
with nails for it!
344
00:27:38,035 --> 00:27:40,824
Wha'd'you have in your head,
brain or kyoo?
345
00:27:42,378 --> 00:27:44,103
We'll buy it ourselves.
Let's go, Fiddler.
346
00:27:46,411 --> 00:27:47,614
Stop!
347
00:27:48,312 --> 00:27:49,875
Stop I said!
348
00:27:55,620 --> 00:27:56,977
Who are you?
349
00:27:58,496 --> 00:28:01,156
I asked who are you?!
350
00:28:03,010 --> 00:28:06,340
- An alien foreman.
- No. You're Patsak!
351
00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:08,624
- And who are you?
- I'm Georgian.
352
00:28:08,744 --> 00:28:11,097
No! You're Patsak, too!
353
00:28:11,217 --> 00:28:12,994
You're Patsak,
you're Patsak
354
00:28:13,114 --> 00:28:14,387
and he's also Patsak!
355
00:28:14,507 --> 00:28:17,598
But I'm Chatlanian!
And they are Chatlanian too!
356
00:28:17,718 --> 00:28:21,787
So you put your tsak on
and sit in pepelats, got it?
357
00:28:22,366 --> 00:28:23,533
What?
358
00:28:23,653 --> 00:28:26,847
Watch, my friend...
When I point this visator at myself,
359
00:28:26,967 --> 00:28:30,306
which signal registers?
Green.
360
00:28:30,685 --> 00:28:34,308
Now at him, watch - green, too.
361
00:28:34,771 --> 00:28:36,909
And at you... Green.
362
00:28:37,176 --> 00:28:41,500
Now look at Wef - which colour?
Orange?
363
00:28:41,751 --> 00:28:43,960
Because he is Chatlanian!
364
00:28:44,429 --> 00:28:46,009
Well, do you understand?
365
00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:49,060
- So what?
- Pluke is a Chatlanian planet.
366
00:28:49,369 --> 00:28:52,194
Therefore we Patsaks
must wear tsak...
367
00:28:52,446 --> 00:28:57,733
Yes! And in front of us Chatlanians
you must do like this!
368
00:28:58,171 --> 00:29:01,127
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
it's an unbridled racism.
369
00:29:01,785 --> 00:29:05,119
- Come again, please.
- Like this!
370
00:29:05,339 --> 00:29:08,800
- A bit slower, could you?
- Like this.
371
00:29:10,325 --> 00:29:11,964
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
372
00:29:12,419 --> 00:29:16,033
you have a wife at home,
a son struggling in school,
373
00:29:16,376 --> 00:29:21,665
a cooperative flat you haven't paid for,
and yet you're messing around.
374
00:29:22,377 --> 00:29:25,663
You'll come to no good,
my friend.
375
00:29:28,651 --> 00:29:29,320
Take it.
376
00:29:30,822 --> 00:29:33,226
Alright, Fiddler,
let's play their games...
377
00:29:33,483 --> 00:29:38,123
There we are, well done.
Now give a match to Wef,
he'll buy the gravitsapa.
378
00:29:38,592 --> 00:29:41,210
- He said he needed them all.
- I was joking.
379
00:29:42,119 --> 00:29:43,544
Very funny.
380
00:29:46,348 --> 00:29:47,764
- Koo.
- Wait.
381
00:29:48,211 --> 00:29:50,013
Koo. We'll go together...
382
00:29:55,338 --> 00:29:59,794
Don't show 'em your ketse,
and don't think about it.
Just show 'em mine.
383
00:29:59,914 --> 00:30:04,381
And don't give 'em
more than half a match.
Gravitsapa costs half a match.
384
00:30:05,211 --> 00:30:07,250
Your Patsak said
a whole match.
385
00:30:09,004 --> 00:30:11,056
He was joking, too.
386
00:30:27,801 --> 00:30:29,738
Concrete mark 300?
387
00:30:32,461 --> 00:30:36,168
Patsak! Remember -
half or less.
388
00:30:36,427 --> 00:30:37,088
OK.
389
00:30:37,556 --> 00:30:40,492
Excuse me...
Chatlanian and Patsak -
is it nationality?
390
00:30:40,612 --> 00:30:41,384
No.
391
00:30:42,972 --> 00:30:45,338
- Biological factor?
- No.
392
00:30:45,458 --> 00:30:47,908
- From different planets?
- No.
393
00:30:48,028 --> 00:30:50,258
So what distinguishes
one from another?
394
00:30:50,378 --> 00:30:54,667
Are you colour-blind, Fiddler?
Can't you tell green from orange?...
395
00:30:55,088 --> 00:30:56,261
Tourist!
396
00:31:03,006 --> 00:31:04,734
Wow!
397
00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:08,339
Skyscraper!
398
00:31:08,949 --> 00:31:10,715
Come on!
399
00:31:16,346 --> 00:31:16,947
Koo.
400
00:31:23,387 --> 00:31:25,687
Koo!
Vova, do as I taught!
401
00:31:26,288 --> 00:31:28,406
Hi, citizen.
402
00:31:29,541 --> 00:31:32,707
You don't feel cold
in the coat, do you?
403
00:31:41,948 --> 00:31:45,399
They won’t let me in.
They want you alone.
404
00:31:45,776 --> 00:31:49,124
Don't give 'em ketse,
bring the gravitsapa here,
I'll check it.
405
00:31:51,118 --> 00:31:52,381
Enter!
406
00:31:56,141 --> 00:31:58,478
- Not you!
- We're together!
407
00:31:58,598 --> 00:32:01,798
- Not you!
- Vladimir Nikolaevich, tell him!
408
00:32:02,605 --> 00:32:03,815
It's alright.
409
00:32:05,208 --> 00:32:06,682
Wait here.
410
00:32:13,606 --> 00:32:15,413
But don't leave!
411
00:32:34,948 --> 00:32:36,570
Hi!
412
00:32:40,202 --> 00:32:41,967
How are things?
413
00:32:45,279 --> 00:32:47,103
You want me to squat...
414
00:32:47,726 --> 00:32:51,859
well, just out of respect
for the ladies present...
415
00:32:54,074 --> 00:32:56,598
Well what's new...
on Pluke?
416
00:32:57,958 --> 00:33:00,529
Gimme ketse,
you'll get a gravitsapa.
417
00:33:13,149 --> 00:33:14,447
A half!
418
00:33:16,308 --> 00:33:17,956
Yeah, a half.
419
00:33:19,148 --> 00:33:20,641
May I have a look?
420
00:33:20,968 --> 00:33:22,229
Sure.
421
00:33:34,412 --> 00:33:38,120
Actually, I am not an expert
in these gravitsapas...
422
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:42,206
So let's go and show it
to my Chatlanian,
he'll check it, OK?
423
00:33:42,439 --> 00:33:45,937
- Jus’ a moment while we
install the tsapa.
424
00:34:03,076 --> 00:34:05,591
Sore throat?
425
00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:11,131
It’s water...
426
00:34:11,459 --> 00:34:18,955
I have a proposition.
I'll give you the rest of this ketse
for two bottles of water.
427
00:34:19,178 --> 00:34:20,302
- Agreed?
428
00:34:20,612 --> 00:34:21,496
- OK.
429
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,328
Do you have food?
430
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:36,948
Kasha...
431
00:34:37,268 --> 00:34:38,741
What kind?
432
00:34:40,273 --> 00:34:42,216
Plastic...
433
00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:52,946
I’ll give you
this whole ketse
434
00:34:54,051 --> 00:34:59,064
for five bottles of water
and a kilo of kasha.
435
00:35:03,491 --> 00:35:05,857
- What’s this?
- Ketse.
436
00:35:07,113 --> 00:35:10,280
- We have to check it again.
- Well, check it.
437
00:35:12,366 -->;;;; 00:35:13,508
- Koo!
438
00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:30,594
Hey, where are you going?
439
00:35:32,481 --> 00:35:34,180
Wait man...
440
00:36:01,658 --> 00:36:02,914
Fiddler!
441
00:36:03,266 --> 00:36:06,327
Can you obtain more
matches on Earth?
442
00:36:07,857 --> 00:36:09,171
I can.
443
00:36:12,651 --> 00:36:16,822
If you can spit further than me,
I'll give you half a chatl.
444
00:36:17,019 --> 00:36:20,255
Here... this is a Spitta.
445
00:36:20,573 --> 00:36:24,377
And if I can OVERSPIT you,
you’ll give me two matches....
446
00:36:33,469 --> 00:36:34,808
- Understood?
- No.
447
00:36:34,928 --> 00:36:36,560
It's just a simple game.
448
00:36:36,896 --> 00:36:40,597
I bet half a chatl,
you bet 3 matches.
449
00:36:40,598 --> 00:36:43,938
- Come on, spit, sonnie!
- Thank you, I'd rather not.
450
00:36:44,849 --> 00:36:49,578
OK, you bet one match,
I bet 3 chatls an’ Yellow Pants,
451
00:36:49,844 --> 00:36:53,072
and I’ll give you... a head-start
LIKE THIS! Come on!
452
00:36:53,269 --> 00:36:53,861
- No!
453
00:36:54,674 --> 00:36:55,441
- Well, Blue Pants!
454
00:36:55,561 --> 00:36:58,559
Mr Uef, I will not enter
on any terms and conditions.
455
00:36:58,819 --> 00:37:00,064
Is that CRUELLY FINAL?
456
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:07,508
So why are you pissin’ about,
maimuna verishvilo?!
457
00:37:10,065 --> 00:37:16,070
Mr Wef! I represent a civilized planet,
and insist you watch your language!
458
00:37:16,366 --> 00:37:16,881
Yeah!
459
00:37:44,406 --> 00:37:46,174
Where are they?
460
00:37:46,770 --> 00:37:47,668
Who?
461
00:37:47,788 --> 00:37:49,648
That one, with a scar!
462
00:37:49,895 --> 00:37:52,733
I'm such a bonehead!
I gave him all the matches!
463
00:38:53,209 --> 00:38:54,608
- Kyoo... Woe...
464
00:38:54,728 --> 00:38:56,411
- Kyoo... Woe...
465
00:38:56,531 --> 00:38:58,497
- Kyoo... Woe...
466
00:39:01,169 --> 00:39:04,474
- Kyoo... Woe...
- Stop it, men. Enough!
467
00:39:05,748 --> 00:39:07,464
Enough? Enough?!
468
00:39:07,584 --> 00:39:11,160
I told him a thousand times
we should go to the Centre!
469
00:39:11,463 --> 00:39:14,399
But he's greedy
like all Chatlanians!
470
00:39:14,645 --> 00:39:17,620
All he wanted is
to save 2 chatls! Kyoo!
471
00:39:18,002 --> 00:39:20,372
Well, I have another one.
472
00:39:24,342 --> 00:39:27,538
As I understand it,
enough for a gravitsapa.
473
00:39:27,939 --> 00:39:29,973
Give it to me. Now.
474
00:39:30,093 --> 00:39:31,007
Why?
475
00:39:31,127 --> 00:39:32,840
To buy a gravitsapa!
476
00:39:35,085 --> 00:39:36,123
Where?
477
00:39:36,647 --> 00:39:38,372
There, in the Centre.
478
00:39:39,156 --> 00:39:42,178
How will you
get us to Earth,
479
00:39:42,298 --> 00:39:46,751
when you don't even know
in which galaxy she orbits?
480
00:39:47,096 --> 00:39:48,830
Your planet number,
you bonehead...
481
00:39:49,122 --> 00:39:52,378
any planetarium in the Centre
will give out for 2 chatls!
482
00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:55,392
Give me the match, OK?
483
00:39:55,712 --> 00:39:57,908
So that you could
bury us in the sand?!
484
00:39:58,028 --> 00:40:00,476
- So you won't give it?
- No.
485
00:40:00,783 --> 00:40:05,512
- Is that cruelly final?
- Most cruelly.
486
00:40:10,288 --> 00:40:14,099
Then goodbye,
my friend.
487
00:40:19,038 --> 00:40:21,012
They're going away,
Vladimir Nikolaevich.
488
00:40:21,132 --> 00:40:22,351
Like hell!
489
00:40:22,471 --> 00:40:25,147
They'll hang themselves
for a match!
490
00:40:32,964 --> 00:40:35,994
Either you give us
the match now,
491
00:40:36,234 --> 00:40:41,458
or we won't PUT you on Earth
for less than 7 boxes!
492
00:40:46,380 --> 00:40:48,127
OK, 2 000.
493
00:40:49,390 --> 00:40:50,925
No! 3 000!
494
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:52,968
Well, 2 300.
495
00:40:53,340 --> 00:40:55,120
3 000, I say!
496
00:41:03,790 --> 00:41:05,910
2 500,
I can't give you more.
497
00:41:06,390 --> 00:41:08,188
Yes, you can, my friend.
498
00:41:08,990 --> 00:41:11,050
Mr Bee,
499
00:41:13,700 --> 00:41:16,748
I have 50 roubles,
500
00:41:17,323 --> 00:41:19,710
matches cost
2 kopecks per box,
501
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,319
so I can buy 2 500,
it's maximum...
502
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:26,770
Fiddler, don’t bullshit!
You have more Russian chatls.
503
00:41:31,750 --> 00:41:37,470
Mr Wef! Don’t you call me Fiddler!
My name is Gedevan Alexandrovich!
504
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,507
What's that, an engine?
505
00:41:47,980 --> 00:41:50,074
Don't poke your nose
in every hole!
506
00:41:50,350 --> 00:41:52,590
...Gedevan Alexandrovich...
507
00:41:56,020 --> 00:42:01,276
Gedevan, let's tie up these rogues
and take a course to the North.
508
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:03,654
What for?
509
00:42:04,027 --> 00:42:06,551
What if the shores
of the Mediterranean are there?
510
00:42:08,424 --> 00:42:10,817
Ha! Vladimir Nikolaevich,
are you nuts?
511
00:42:11,190 --> 00:42:13,332
Where did you get
seas on Pluke?
512
00:42:13,779 --> 00:42:16,799
Our seas have been made
into LUTZ long ago.
513
00:42:18,370 --> 00:42:19,810
Excuse me, into what?
514
00:42:21,428 --> 00:42:23,149
Into fuel, Fiddler. Into fuel...
515
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,930
Now you owe us 6 140 boxes.
516
00:42:29,050 --> 00:42:30,718
Why so much?
517
00:42:31,353 --> 00:42:34,633
You ate kasha,
you're drinking water...
plus the bandura.
518
00:42:36,730 --> 00:42:40,196
No, cancel the bandura...
we don't want the bandura.
Put it back, Fiddler.
519
00:42:49,660 --> 00:42:52,751
Uncle Vova, we need to bring back
a sample of technology.
520
00:42:52,871 --> 00:42:55,019
If not, who will believe us?
521
00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:59,040
Well, give them the violin,
if you like that bandura so much.
522
00:43:00,873 --> 00:43:06,023
It's an 18th century Italian violin!
It’s worth 1000 roubles, if not more!
523
00:43:06,641 --> 00:43:07,878
How would I ever pay it back?
524
00:43:08,092 --> 00:43:08,908
Koo.
525
00:43:09,797 --> 00:43:10,604
Koo.
526
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:18,943
Fiddler, instead of thinking that
you're the first Georgian cosmonaut
and that you'd get a Nobel Prize,
527
00:43:19,638 --> 00:43:24,494
give back the spoon
you stole from us poor artists.
528
00:43:26,650 --> 00:43:29,246
I wasn’t thinking anything
about cosmos or Nobel...
529
00:43:34,698 --> 00:43:39,344
I wanted to bring it to the
institute of non-ferrous metals,
it may prove something new...
530
00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:42,297
Heavens!
531
00:43:42,536 --> 00:43:46,919
The heavens never saw
such a disreputable Patsak
as you, Fiddler.
532
00:43:47,650 --> 00:43:50,368
I am deeply saddened.
533
00:43:55,751 --> 00:43:57,047
Where are you goin’?
534
00:43:57,167 --> 00:43:58,333
To the toilet.
535
00:43:58,453 --> 00:44:01,925
Money not allowed in the toilet!
Leave money here...
536
00:44:02,949 --> 00:44:05,033
...Gedevan Alexandrovich!
537
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,694
Ketse is very expensive,
my friend.
538
00:44:43,814 --> 00:44:44,797
Why?
539
00:44:45,651 --> 00:44:47,595
Well... back on Earth,
540
00:44:47,715 --> 00:44:51,571
how do you determine
who should squat in front of whom
and how many times?
541
00:44:51,910 --> 00:44:53,664
Well, it's a guess-work.
542
00:44:55,148 --> 00:44:56,752
Barbarians!
543
00:44:57,612 --> 00:45:01,708
Look man, I like you,
so I'll teach you.
544
00:45:02,528 --> 00:45:07,451
If I have a few ketse,
I have the right
to wear Yellow Pants.
545
00:45:08,124 --> 00:45:14,009
So, Patsaks have to squat
in front of me not once, but twice.
546
00:45:14,357 --> 00:45:21,236
If I have a lot of ketse,
I have the right to wear
Crimson Pants.
547
00:45:22,277 --> 00:45:29,999
So, Patsaks have to squat in front
of me twice, and Chatlanians have
to koo to me!
548
00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:34,755
And an ecilop may not
beat me up at night!
549
00:45:35,601 --> 00:45:36,832
...Never!
550
00:45:39,008 --> 00:45:40,767
I have a proposition, my friend.
551
00:45:41,326 --> 00:45:47,350
You give us the match now, and later
we'll bring you Yellow Pants, deal?
552
00:45:48,552 --> 00:45:50,956
Thanks, I already have a pair.
Fiddler maybe needs some...
553
00:45:51,172 --> 00:45:54,499
Hey, Fiddler!
Aliens are peddlin' pants here!
554
00:45:56,026 --> 00:45:58,164
Yellow ones! Need any?
555
00:46:00,064 --> 00:46:01,773
There is no Fiddler,
my friend.
556
00:46:01,893 --> 00:46:02,702
What?!
557
00:46:02,822 --> 00:46:04,055
I ejected him.
558
00:46:04,175 --> 00:46:06,129
But you needn't worry,
Vladimir Nokolaevich.
559
00:46:06,249 --> 00:46:08,446
We have another catapult.
A new one.
560
00:46:08,566 --> 00:46:10,357
That old one
was broken anyway.
561
00:46:10,477 --> 00:46:12,070
I don't get it...
562
00:46:12,190 --> 00:46:15,528
I pressed the kappa
he flew away.
563
00:46:16,350 --> 00:46:20,532
Fiddler isn't needed, my friend,
he's just a waste of fuel...
564
00:46:31,714 --> 00:46:33,062
Turn back!
565
00:46:34,350 --> 00:46:35,320
Impossible...
566
00:46:35,699 --> 00:46:38,152
We’re out of lutz.
We need to fly
to the lutz station.
567
00:46:39,470 --> 00:46:43,550
Turn back!
Or I’ll burn this damned ketse!
568
00:46:45,527 --> 00:46:47,960
Gedevan!
569
00:46:52,325 --> 00:46:54,680
Fiddler!
570
00:46:58,470 --> 00:47:00,650
Hey, Fiddler!
571
00:47:12,422 --> 00:47:13,859
Where could he have gone?
572
00:47:13,979 --> 00:47:17,510
You've been told.
The ecilops caught him.
573
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:19,452
Well let's go, my friend.
574
00:47:19,572 --> 00:47:21,591
You bastards!
You've really done it now!
575
00:47:25,730 --> 00:47:28,004
Call the ecilops on the radio!
576
00:47:28,717 --> 00:47:31,839
We have no radio.We threw it away,
because of annoying Maydays!
577
00:47:32,150 --> 00:47:33,679
I'll check myself!
578
00:47:33,799 --> 00:47:35,680
Ecilop!
579
00:47:44,430 --> 00:47:46,092
Put the tsak on, now!
580
00:47:48,390 --> 00:47:51,121
- Put the tsak on!
- Not on his life!
581
00:48:00,122 --> 00:48:01,043
Koo!
582
00:48:01,578 --> 00:48:02,423
Koo.
583
00:48:04,140 --> 00:48:06,340
Put it on, or he’ll
tranklucate you!
584
00:48:06,752 --> 00:48:08,314
You and the match!
585
00:48:15,793 --> 00:48:16,535
Koo.
586
00:48:32,918 --> 00:48:33,839
Koo!
587
00:49:02,910 --> 00:49:04,410
Hello.
588
00:49:04,774 --> 00:49:08,084
Listen, friend, we lost
a young lad around here,
did you see him?
589
00:49:08,204 --> 00:49:09,039
Koo!
590
00:49:10,460 --> 00:49:11,637
What?
591
00:49:24,412 --> 00:49:29,280
Oh! Sorry, I forgot...
They said you picked him up.
592
00:49:29,755 --> 00:49:30,675
Koo.
593
00:49:33,996 --> 00:49:34,710
Koo.
594
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:12,794
I told you Fiddler isn't needed!
But you weren’t listening!
595
00:50:12,914 --> 00:50:16,070
How will we buy lutz now?
How?!
596
00:50:20,523 --> 00:50:21,443
How?!
597
00:50:21,784 --> 00:50:24,252
You're a damned bastard,
my friend...
598
00:50:24,372 --> 00:50:27,110
He's worse.
He's just a kyoo.
599
00:51:02,269 --> 00:51:03,940
I have a proposition.
600
00:51:04,231 --> 00:51:08,479
We find Fiddler, and then we’ll go
to the local government...
601
00:51:08,599 --> 00:51:10,830
Get me some sand,
my friend...
602
00:51:12,173 --> 00:51:15,260
We tell to your governors
who we are, where we're from...
603
00:51:17,597 --> 00:51:20,376
They'll give us a gravitsapa,
604
00:51:20,586 --> 00:51:26,000
and we'll organize
a mutually beneficial trade...
605
00:51:27,642 --> 00:51:32,797
Pluke to Earth: lots of yellow pants.
Earth to Pluke: as many ketse
as the Plukanians want.
606
00:51:33,069 --> 00:51:36,112
We ALREADY need a gravitsapa
to go to the government!
607
00:51:36,232 --> 00:51:39,510
The governors live
on another planet, my friend.
608
00:52:24,950 --> 00:52:27,840
Uncle Vova!
I'm here!
609
00:52:30,144 --> 00:52:31,806
I’m here!
610
00:52:46,562 --> 00:52:48,299
- Fiddler!
- What?
611
00:52:48,419 --> 00:52:50,637
Where is my thing...
what’s it called...?
612
00:52:50,757 --> 00:52:52,505
Tsak?
613
00:52:53,643 --> 00:52:55,005
Yeah.
614
00:52:56,188 --> 00:52:58,357
- I have it.
- So give it to me!
615
00:52:58,477 --> 00:52:59,467
Right here?
Why?
616
00:52:59,587 --> 00:53:01,880
Well, just give it to me, I said!
617
00:53:05,361 --> 00:53:07,239
But there’s nobody here...
618
00:53:08,300 --> 00:53:09,502
Hey, that's mine.
619
00:53:09,622 --> 00:53:11,718
Alright, so keep it ready!
620
00:53:31,904 --> 00:53:33,735
Are you asleep?
621
00:53:34,772 --> 00:53:36,068
No.
622
00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,387
Cheer up, Fiddler.
623
00:53:38,622 --> 00:53:42,133
If there is a gravitsapa
on Pluke, we'll get it.
624
00:53:43,380 --> 00:53:47,014
It was happening to me
to get things even harder to find
625
00:53:49,916 --> 00:53:50,996
Quiet...
626
00:53:54,510 --> 00:53:56,908
Hey! Wait!
627
00:53:57,028 --> 00:53:58,153
Koo?
628
00:53:58,273 --> 00:54:00,507
Would you give us a lift
to the Centre?
629
00:54:01,059 --> 00:54:03,185
- Patsak, stop.
- What?
630
00:54:04,683 --> 00:54:08,493
Don't come any closer.
What do you want?
631
00:54:09,224 --> 00:54:12,033
- Take us to the Centre!..
- 3 chatls.
632
00:54:13,454 --> 00:54:16,749
No money!
But we'll work for it!
633
00:54:16,869 --> 00:54:18,294
And what can you do?
634
00:54:19,300 --> 00:54:21,332
Me? I can do everything!
635
00:54:21,452 --> 00:54:22,395
Don’t brag!
What exactly?
636
00:54:22,515 --> 00:54:26,428
Vladimir Nikolaevich is a
builder site foreman!
637
00:54:26,548 --> 00:54:28,587
We can build you a house!
638
00:54:29,150 --> 00:54:30,725
And what can YOU do?
639
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:32,879
Me?
640
00:54:33,700 --> 00:54:35,832
He can play the violin!
641
00:54:37,530 --> 00:54:39,015
Play!
642
00:54:40,083 --> 00:54:41,135
Play.
643
00:54:41,419 --> 00:54:43,068
I can't!
644
00:54:44,370 --> 00:54:45,892
Bye, Patsaks.
645
00:54:46,378 --> 00:54:49,081
Citizen! Wait!
646
00:54:49,201 --> 00:54:50,337
I can!
647
00:54:50,750 --> 00:54:51,744
Play!
648
00:54:52,750 --> 00:54:53,830
Here?
649
00:54:54,340 --> 00:54:55,856
Over there!
650
00:55:17,420 --> 00:55:20,890
Wait a minute, foreman...
I'll tune the sound...
651
00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:27,472
Now, play.
652
00:55:30,820 --> 00:55:32,777
And sing.
653
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:38,840
Right, just a sec.
654
00:55:39,992 --> 00:55:41,380
How does it go...
655
00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:46,680
(Mashkov sings: )
Mama, mama,
what shall I do?...
656
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,432
Cool!
657
00:55:48,988 --> 00:55:50,046
What?
658
00:55:50,350 --> 00:55:53,180
- I said, 'Cool!'
- People like it...
659
00:55:53,300 --> 00:55:56,250
- What?
- PEOPLE LIKE IT!
660
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:15,416
No...
661
00:56:16,675 --> 00:56:19,235
- I can’t sing... let me be a drummer.
- How’s that?
662
00:56:21,790 --> 00:56:22,839
Foreman!
663
00:56:23,906 --> 00:56:26,015
Fiddler isn't needed!
664
00:56:28,700 --> 00:56:30,276
It’s OK,
he won’t be a bother.
665
00:56:30,755 --> 00:56:32,264
Give us some water to drink,
will you?
666
00:56:32,770 --> 00:56:34,668
I said, after the performance.
667
00:56:35,420 --> 00:56:37,492
We could've taken it
ourselves... by force.
668
00:56:41,338 --> 00:56:44,110
Then you'd have to ask us.
669
00:56:44,230 --> 00:56:44,842
Oh!
670
00:56:45,236 --> 00:56:47,809
You touch me...
an ecilop will come
and tear your legs off.
671
00:56:47,929 --> 00:56:49,797
I don't give a damn
about your ecilop!
672
00:56:50,349 --> 00:56:52,604
Calm down, Fiddler.
Don't provoke the lady...
673
00:56:55,250 --> 00:56:56,156
Foreman!
674
00:57:08,590 --> 00:57:09,937
Look...
675
00:57:16,910 --> 00:57:18,426
Alright, I got it.
676
00:57:19,604 --> 00:57:20,410
I got it.
677
00:57:20,860 --> 00:57:25,519
Look, do you know anyone
with a gravitsapa and a pepelats?
678
00:57:25,639 --> 00:57:26,761
Why?
679
00:57:27,070 --> 00:57:29,190
Well, he could give us
a lift to Earth...
680
00:57:29,310 --> 00:57:31,829
and we'd give each of you
a big crate of ketse...
681
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:35,652
I know that you people
don't trust words...
682
00:57:35,985 --> 00:57:37,677
Well, read...
what am I thinking?
683
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:42,954
That your wife is probably
calling all the city morgues.
684
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,422
No, what am I thinking
right now?
685
00:57:47,499 --> 00:57:49,189
That you will really
keep your promise.
686
00:57:49,309 --> 00:57:50,875
You see? It’s true then.
687
00:57:52,540 --> 00:57:54,996
What an idiot on Pluke
thinks the truth?
688
00:57:57,090 --> 00:57:58,420
It's absurd!
689
00:57:59,570 --> 00:58:05,225
Precisely because
you say what you don't think
and think what you don't think
690
00:58:05,345 --> 00:58:07,375
you do sit in cages.
691
00:58:07,495 --> 00:58:13,074
That’s the cause of all this bitter
cataclysm which I observe here...
692
00:58:13,194 --> 00:58:15,281
and Vladimir Nikolaevich
does too...
693
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:20,810
Patsaks have to perform in cages,
so come inside right now, you two!
Why put on lugs?
694
00:58:20,930 --> 00:58:23,829
Doesn't matter, my dear,
we will sing beside the cage.
695
00:58:23,949 --> 00:58:26,890
Get in! He saw us!
He’ll tranklucate us!
696
00:58:27,010 --> 00:58:28,480
We're not animals.
697
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:29,966
What???
698
00:58:31,950 --> 00:58:34,000
- You SHALL come inside, I say!
- Hands off!
699
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,463
- You shall get in!
- Stop it!
700
00:58:37,648 --> 00:58:38,927
Kyoo!
701
00:58:39,167 --> 00:58:40,532
Koo!
702
00:58:42,710 --> 00:58:44,930
Get in!
Or he’ll melt us down!
703
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:49,000
OK, get in Fiddler,
if she wants it so badly.
704
00:58:50,970 --> 00:58:52,168
Get in.
705
00:58:57,630 --> 00:59:01,540
One two three...
706
00:59:01,940 --> 00:59:03,265
Dance!
707
00:59:03,905 --> 00:59:04,798
Dance...
708
00:59:04,918 --> 00:59:07,264
I'll tell you what...
Go find another band!...
709
00:59:07,384 --> 00:59:08,370
...nunky!
710
00:59:09,916 --> 00:59:11,547
What???
711
00:59:22,304 --> 00:59:23,954
Don’t move!
I'll be back.
712
00:59:28,072 --> 00:59:29,479
We've got to
get out of here.
713
00:59:29,599 --> 00:59:32,235
Boys, push the cart,
could you?...it's uphill.
714
00:59:32,855 --> 00:59:34,578
The pleasure is ours...
715
00:59:42,729 --> 00:59:43,819
Accelerate!
716
00:59:44,239 --> 00:59:46,780
Bye-bye, bastards!
717
01:00:06,490 --> 01:00:08,524
I will tell everybody...
718
01:00:09,304 --> 01:00:14,241
...where this buffoon PJ
has led the planet!
719
01:00:16,350 --> 01:00:21,449
Patsaks are walking
all over Chatlanians!
720
01:00:24,995 --> 01:00:26,359
Kyoo!
721
01:00:27,004 --> 01:00:28,635
("Cosmos" - cigarettes)
722
01:00:29,072 --> 01:00:32,400
Everything's in place?
723
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:34,940
She's stolen the cologne.
724
01:00:35,870 --> 01:00:37,650
Women!..
725
01:00:43,260 --> 01:00:44,380
Let me...
726
01:00:46,443 --> 01:00:49,719
- What's in there... lead?
- Let me, uncle Vova.
727
01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:31,064
I don't even know
which way to look.
728
01:01:31,184 --> 01:01:33,420
Where's the Earth?
729
01:01:49,968 --> 01:01:51,324
Galina Borisovna!
730
01:01:51,444 --> 01:01:53,906
Comrade Mashkov and I,
as Patsaks,
731
01:01:54,026 --> 01:01:57,830
could earn 2 chatls
for a performance -
it's maximum.
732
01:01:57,950 --> 01:02:02,969
Water, lutz and bribes to ecilops
it's at least a chatl a day.
733
01:02:03,089 --> 01:02:05,519
But a gravitsapa costs
half a ketse!
734
01:02:05,639 --> 01:02:07,764
That's 2 200 chatls.
735
01:02:07,884 --> 01:02:12,471
Divide it by 365,
minus weekends... we get 6.
736
01:02:12,849 --> 01:02:16,490
And that's for those 6 years
when I had no way of returning!
737
01:02:17,041 --> 01:02:20,740
That's all very well,
Gedevan Alexandrovich,
but these are just words.
738
01:02:20,860 --> 01:02:26,990
Where is the proof, that you
arrived from the cosmos,
and not sold the violin...
739
01:02:27,110 --> 01:02:31,170
...and function all that time
in a disco in Gagry?
740
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:34,300
This is a Plukanian mineral.
741
01:02:35,253 --> 01:02:37,210
This is a chatl.
742
01:02:38,591 --> 01:02:39,884
This is a tsak.
743
01:02:40,004 --> 01:02:43,301
A screwnut and a sample of sand
are appended to the report...
744
01:02:43,421 --> 01:02:45,151
I handed over
to the Dean’s secretary
745
01:02:45,271 --> 01:02:47,251
so that it could be
sent to UNESCO.
746
01:02:47,371 --> 01:02:48,533
Where?!
747
01:02:48,911 --> 01:02:50,275
UNESCO...
748
01:02:52,744 --> 01:02:55,491
Look, Gedevan Alexandrovich...
749
01:02:55,791 --> 01:02:59,215
You had studied for half a term
and then disappeared for years!
750
01:02:59,335 --> 01:03:01,644
And now you're trying
to explain yourself...
751
01:03:01,764 --> 01:03:03,540
...with some pebble,
752
01:03:03,660 --> 01:03:07,191
a piece of old
Georgian ceramics
753
01:03:07,311 --> 01:03:09,618
and a fisher's bell!
754
01:03:09,738 --> 01:03:11,822
And you dare to insist...
755
01:03:11,942 --> 01:03:16,260
By the way...
if you have musical talent,
756
01:03:16,380 --> 01:03:20,171
then why didn’t you participate
in our students' orchestra?!
757
01:03:20,291 --> 01:03:24,894
Excuse me, Fiddler,
but it’s an elementary koo!
758
01:03:25,546 --> 01:03:27,658
END OF
PART ONE
KIN-DZA-DZA! PART:2 (srt-format subtitles)
Добавлено:
12-06, 14:36
Соловей
1
00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:04,800
KIN-DZA-DZA!
Part Two
2
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:11,300
Concise Chatlanian-Patsak Dictionary.
3
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:20,300
KETSE - Matches.
TSAK - Nose bell.
4
00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:29,300
ECIKH - Box for prisoners.
ECILOP - Policeman,
a representative of authority.
5
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:41,300
PEPELATS - Spaceship.
GRAVITSAPA - Component
of Pepelats motor.
6
00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:50,300
KYOO - Socially acceptable
swear-word.
KOO - All other words.
7
00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:37,200
Hi!
8
00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:38,570
Hello.
9
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:40,980
Long time no see!
10
00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:42,640
Bye!
11
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,890
Hey! Hang on a sec!
12
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,620
I have a proposition!
13
00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:49,680
What?
14
00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:50,270
What now?
15
00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:56,750
What do we think about you?
16
00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:59,320
Well? Read our minds.
Penetrate it!
17
00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:06,240
Why are you botherin' us?
Wha’d’you want?
18
00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:08,070
Have you no shame?
19
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,220
Have YOU?
20
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:12,630
We are poor, unfortunate,
hungry artists!
21
00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:14,990
Have we done you any wrong?
22
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:17,480
Why are you stalking us?
23
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,970
Give me your bandura
for a while...
24
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:25,870
Tune it up...
25
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,150
Like this.
26
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:34,570
Come on.
27
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:42,310
One two three.
28
00:04:42,730 --> 00:04:48,170
(singing: )
Mama, mama, what shall I do?
(Koo!)
29
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:54,620
Mama, mama, how will I live?
(Wuu!)
30
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:06,410
I have got no warmer winter coat,
31
00:05:06,450 --> 00:05:11,470
I have got no warmer winter vest.
32
00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:25,430
- Wuuuu...
- Shut up! You're tone deaf!
33
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:31,100
Mama, mama, what shall I do?
(Koo!)
34
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:36,190
Mama, mama, how will I live?
(Wuu!)
35
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,350
Uncle Vova, let's go again!
36
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,510
They love it...
37
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:58,900
They can appreciate it.
38
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:00,790
One two...
39
00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:02,390
Ecilop!!!
40
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,120
Artists!
Where is our deathtrap?
41
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:30,420
The pepelats?
42
00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:31,420
Yes.
43
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:32,960
Over there...
44
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,120
We’re out of lutz.
45
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,870
Because of you, bastards.
46
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,530
Fiddler! What are you doing?
Hooligan!
47
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,310
Listen, leave me alone, OK?
48
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,260
My friend,
49
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,040
it's somebody's Last Breath,
50
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:50,820
a grave...
You’re in a cemetery.
51
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:57,170
Checkmate, Fiddler!
52
00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:00,280
And you call your level 'advanced'?
53
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,470
He was just bragging!
54
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,550
It’s not fair!
55
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,910
You win by reading my brains.
56
00:07:03,950 --> 00:07:06,730
If you really had brains,
you'd be studying in MGIMO,
57
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,500
and not here pissin' everybody off.
58
00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:09,820
Want to play again?
59
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:13,590
You bet the violin, the case
and the tooth stick...
60
00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,560
And this!
61
00:07:15,590 --> 00:07:17,450
OK?
62
00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:20,710
OK, Mr Bee!
You bet the bandura, the visator...
63
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:23,640
...and your Life Base, Mr Wef.
64
00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:25,380
Agreed.
65
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:27,130
Begin!
66
00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:33,460
Uncle Vova...
67
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:36,730
You have to twist the tsapa.
The tsapa!
68
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,150
Here, you do it!
69
00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:40,190
I'm not allowed,
I'm a Chatlanian.
70
00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:42,330
Then, sod off!
71
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,230
When it comes to advising,
you're all Chatlanians!
72
00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:46,830
When it comes
to working, though...
73
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:48,420
Scholar's mate, Mr Bee!
74
00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:49,610
Not fair!
75
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,740
You purposely thought up
bad moves for me!
76
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,340
Use your own brain for the game!
77
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:55,730
How could he use his own brain?
78
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:57,530
He's never seen these dolls before!
79
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:58,770
Not my problem.
80
00:07:58,810 --> 00:07:59,840
Give me my winnings.
81
00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:01,490
Yeah right!
Not on your life!
82
00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:08,120
Wef, have you ever thought
that such a little Patsak could be
such a mercenary kyoo?
83
00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:12,260
Never.
I told you Fiddler isn't needed,
and here's the proof.
84
00:08:12,430 --> 00:08:13,560
Hey!
85
00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:15,560
Boss!..
86
00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:22,070
Done! And you say 'tsapa'...
87
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:33,010
Is it true nobody sings
in cages on the Earth?
88
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:39,160
Mr Bee, on the Earth
we cage only animals.
89
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,060
Are animals Chatlanians?
90
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,910
I don't know.
But they look rather similar...
91
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:48,740
Is Nightingale a Patsak?
92
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,600
Why a Patsak?
93
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,300
You said he sings without a cage.
94
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:55,840
Well then he's a Patsak.
95
00:08:56,140 --> 00:09:02,170
Ah! So you see, you have
the same unbridled racism
as here on Pluke.
96
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:05,480
Only Patsaks have taken power
on Earth, not Chatlanians.
97
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:10,090
Patsaks just like you
and your friend Nightingale!
98
00:09:51,430 --> 00:09:53,200
Let me...
99
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,380
Here. Four gulps.
100
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:35,840
The water's for the youngster.
101
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,890
You owe us 6042 boxes now.
102
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,590
Fiddler, make a note.
103
00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:45,840
I already have.
104
00:10:58,260 --> 00:11:00,090
Want some?
105
00:11:01,690 --> 00:11:03,520
No.
106
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,300
For free.
107
00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:17,480
Hey!!
108
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,400
What are you doing?
109
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:25,340
And what about me?
About me?!
About me?!!
110
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,140
I’ll give 10 more boxes,
take some water for yourself...
111
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,200
Damned coriander!
Kindza-dza!
112
00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:56,230
A boat!
113
00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:59,940
It's not a boat.
It's a lutz station.
114
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,260
So we can refuel!
115
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:05,020
No! This one's automatic.
But on the next one, there
must be a woman attendant.
116
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,740
If we perform, she'll give us
a discount, got it?
117
00:12:08,570 --> 00:12:10,600
Stop slacking, uncle Vova.
118
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,130
Come on, come on, my friend,
let’s fly... Come on...
119
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,400
If this had once been sea,
why aren’t there any shells?
120
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:23,890
Do you still have seas on Earth?
121
00:12:24,070 --> 00:12:26,310
We have seas, and rivers,
122
00:12:26,910 --> 00:12:29,390
and honest people, Mr Wef.
123
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,360
Barbarians.
You make me want to cry.
124
00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:39,440
(singing: )
Mama, mama, what shall I do?
(Wuu! Tam ta da dam!)
125
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:46,720
Mama, mama, how will I live?
126
00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:52,160
I have got no warmer winter coat!
(Wuu! Tam ta da dam!)
127
00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:59,370
I have got no warmer winter vest!
128
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,280
It's a shame my boss
can't see me now...
129
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,940
He'd probably give me a raise.
130
00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:07,120
Keep quiet, Uncle Vova.
131
00:13:07,150 --> 00:13:09,250
The lady is watching us.
132
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,580
Kyoo!
They took away the woman
and put in a machine.
133
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,130
Well, buy as much as you can!
134
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,320
We'll fly at least part of the way!
135
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,460
You can't buy lutz in parts.
136
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,960
Lutz is 10 chatls per charge,
and we have only 7.
137
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:09,690
How far is the Centre?
138
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,170
160 km.
139
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:15,480
Uncle Vova, Wef has
some more chatls.
In his right shoe.
140
00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:27,670
Hey, Chatlanian!
141
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:30,150
What?
142
00:14:30,980 --> 00:14:33,050
Do us a favor,
take off your right boot.
143
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:35,050
- What for?
- Come on, koo, koo!
144
00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:00,430
You bastard! Kyoo!!
145
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,940
All of you! Squat!
146
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:11,900
Why?
They're not ecilops are they?
147
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,930
It's Mr PJ and his Patsak.
148
00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:15,890
If they find out
that you didn't squat,
149
00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:17,820
it's life-long ecikh with nails.
150
00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:19,940
Who is PJ?
151
00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:32,200
Did you see that?
152
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,080
Yeah.
It's a hologram, my friend.
153
00:15:34,610 --> 00:15:36,210
- The violin!
- Koo-oo!!!
154
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,650
Quiet! Stand still!
155
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,360
Silence!
156
00:15:49,630 --> 00:15:51,580
You see this, eh?
And you said 'koo'...
157
00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:10,770
It's not a blimp, you bonehead!
158
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:13,410
It's the Last Breath of Mr PJ.
159
00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:14,880
Rubbish.
160
00:16:15,870 --> 00:16:19,560
How could one person breathe
so much air just before he died?
161
00:16:19,910 --> 00:16:20,580
It’s absurd.
162
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:23,160
Don't blaspheme.
PJ is alive!
163
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,520
And I am happy.
164
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,010
I'm even happier!
165
00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:07,690
Wuuu... Like this.
166
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:10,300
Come on, get inside.
167
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,600
Plastic?
168
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:12,900
No.
169
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,460
Is there a normal entrance
to this supermarket?
170
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,580
To get in normally, we have
to pay in chatls, my friend.
171
00:18:24,410 --> 00:18:25,270
Hey, let's go!
172
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:26,350
Sod off, Patsak!
173
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,620
Fiddler! Patsaks go there!
174
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:27,810
What are they doing?
175
00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:31,990
It’s the fourth pump of Mr PJ.
176
00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:34,080
I love PJ very much!
177
00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:36,130
I koo him even more!
178
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,440
And here they make water
out of lutz.
179
00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:32,900
What are they shouting?
180
00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:34,740
They’re selling.
181
00:20:36,390 --> 00:20:38,170
Selling what?
182
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:40,020
Everything.
183
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:42,130
Let’s buy a gravitsapa!
184
00:20:42,230 --> 00:20:44,500
Gravitsapas are
in another department.
185
00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:47,570
We first need to find out
the tenture of the Earth.
186
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,620
- Yellow Pants... double koo!
- Koo! Koo! Koo-koo!
187
00:21:23,410 --> 00:21:26,540
Think!
What's the orbit diameter
of your planet?
188
00:21:30,210 --> 00:21:32,750
I don't remember...
Fiddler, do you know?
189
00:21:32,780 --> 00:21:35,060
No, Fiddler isn't needed!
You tell me!
190
00:21:35,890 --> 00:21:37,420
- Er... mm...
- OK, forget it.
191
00:21:40,740 --> 00:21:43,990
Tell me your planet’s
core density.
Think.
192
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,120
Density?
No, I can't remember...
193
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,070
Well, fine.
194
00:21:50,140 --> 00:21:54,340
The names of the planets in your galaxy.
Which ones do you know?
Think.
195
00:21:56,290 --> 00:21:59,660
Jupiter, Mars, Venus…
196
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:03,680
Where is my Divinating Crystal?!
It was right there!!!
197
00:22:03,710 --> 00:22:05,890
Fiddler! Put it back!
198
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,060
Sorry...
As it was laying there...
199
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,840
...I thought it was a useless
piece of glass...
200
00:22:12,260 --> 00:22:14,210
Stupid cow.
201
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,530
Enough. Stop rattling your brains,
you bonehead.
202
00:22:20,710 --> 00:22:23,790
Here's your planet number:
013 in the Tenture.
203
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:25,860
On the left of Ursa Major.
204
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:28,820
Do you want to talk with the Earth?
It'll cost you another chatl.
205
00:22:29,470 --> 00:22:30,190
Pardon... what??
206
00:22:30,230 --> 00:22:32,360
Think of your phone number!
207
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,270
And tell them about the matches.
208
00:22:48,690 --> 00:22:51,520
"...Hallo! Hallo!
Can you hear me?"
209
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,360
Come on, earthling,
speak into this device!
210
00:22:54,390 --> 00:22:55,840
Hallo!
211
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,330
"Hallo!
I'm listening, go ahead!"
212
00:23:00,510 --> 00:23:02,010
"Hallo!"
213
00:23:02,050 --> 00:23:03,470
Speak! Time is money!
214
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,890
Hallo! Lucy!
215
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:06,800
"Vova!"
216
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,730
Can you hear me?
It's me!
217
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,330
"Vova, where are you?"
218
00:23:11,870 --> 00:23:13,960
Well, I'm here...
How are you?
219
00:23:14,230 --> 00:23:14,840
"Vova, you..."
220
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:16,090
How's Cyril?
221
00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:18,550
"Where are you, Vo...
Where are you, Vova?"
222
00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:20,340
I'm here, in some place,
223
00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:22,100
I'll explain everything later.
224
00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:24,230
How's mum feeling?
225
00:23:24,580 --> 00:23:26,140
Have you been to see her?
226
00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:30,320
"Yes I have been...
I asked you
where have YOU been!"
227
00:23:31,970 --> 00:23:37,360
Listen, wife of Patsak!
Stop pissin' about!
Go buy two big crates of ketse!
228
00:23:37,390 --> 00:23:38,660
Or we'll find for him some better...!
229
00:23:38,690 --> 00:23:41,850
Sod off, Wef!..
Lucy! Lucy...
230
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,700
Lucy. My dear...
231
00:23:47,350 --> 00:23:49,890
Lucy... Lucy!
232
00:23:50,370 --> 00:23:54,170
Take the phone, right now,
and call Victor Manokhin...
233
00:23:54,210 --> 00:23:57,760
...tell him that the keys
for the plumbing store
are in my office,
234
00:23:58,110 --> 00:24:00,540
under the thingy...
under the cabinet,
lying on the floor.
235
00:24:00,570 --> 00:24:02,190
Did you get all that?
236
00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:03,850
"Oh yes, I got it..."
237
00:24:06,690 --> 00:24:10,120
Would you like to dial Batumi?
3-47-57, please.
238
00:24:10,150 --> 00:24:12,370
Tell them to fetch Alik.
239
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,030
No way.
Get lost you bloody thief.
240
00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:44,480
- Weeh... eeh...
- Is something wrong?
241
00:24:48,090 --> 00:24:51,590
Everything’s fine,
but the Earth is rather far way.
242
00:24:51,630 --> 00:24:54,300
We'll have to warm up
for 7 minutes
instead of 5.
243
00:24:54,330 --> 00:24:57,190
So let's go and prepare
the tsapa for the gravitsapa.
244
00:24:58,020 --> 00:25:01,160
Astronauts!
Which one is the tsapa?
245
00:25:06,770 --> 00:25:08,960
Yeah! Everything is rusty here!
246
00:25:09,530 --> 00:25:11,740
And it's the most rusty one.
247
00:25:18,130 --> 00:25:20,200
What are you doing,
are you nuts?!
248
00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:27,350
Oh, mama-mama.
Lucy and Manokhin arrived, wow!..
249
00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:36,820
Uncle Vova!
250
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:40,600
The match was in the cap!
251
00:25:41,670 --> 00:25:43,440
Strange...
Why would they leave?
252
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,100
Why strange?!
They've got a match
to buy a gravitsapa,
253
00:25:46,130 --> 00:25:48,100
and they know
the tenture of the Earth!
254
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:54,440
Comrade ecilop! Comrade ecilop!
255
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,810
They stole from us!
256
00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:59,880
Arrest them! Koo!
257
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:05,850
Arrest them!
258
00:26:06,330 --> 00:26:07,880
40 chatls.
259
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,580
We've got no chatls.
Everything is with the tour guide.
260
00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:12,580
And the violin they have
isn't really theirs!
261
00:26:12,620 --> 00:26:14,550
And when they were
in front of a video of PJ,
262
00:26:14,580 --> 00:26:15,930
they didn't koo-koo!
263
00:26:15,970 --> 00:26:17,440
Why are you staring at me?
264
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,920
Why are you staring at me?
265
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,290
If your bosses find out
that you knew and did nothing,
266
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,840
you'll be bloody tranklucated!
Get it?
267
00:26:26,670 --> 00:26:28,230
I didn't do nothing!
268
00:26:28,270 --> 00:26:30,750
I pressed the kappa at once!
269
00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:32,750
Fiddler is a witness.
270
00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:34,020
All patrols!
271
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,430
Bring a wheeled deathtrap here!
Koo!
272
00:26:40,690 --> 00:26:42,700
There's nothing in there.
273
00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:44,760
Open it.
274
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,720
Show me.
275
00:26:59,550 --> 00:27:01,320
It's vinegar.
276
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,320
That's none of your business.
277
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,490
The Patsak will be tranklucated.
278
00:27:17,530 --> 00:27:20,230
The Chatlanian gets ecikh for life...
with nails.
279
00:27:27,110 --> 00:27:31,190
Oh, brothers, brothers!
Fellow Patsaks!
280
00:27:31,540 --> 00:27:35,050
Tell them the truth
about my squats,
281
00:27:35,090 --> 00:27:39,470
about the Chatlanian
pressing the kappa!
282
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:40,490
Shut up, you bastard!
283
00:27:40,530 --> 00:27:41,270
Uncle Vova, please...
284
00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:42,430
Shut up! Parasite!
285
00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:43,550
You shut up!
286
00:27:44,730 --> 00:27:47,980
Vova, my friend!
Gedevan Alexandrovich!
287
00:27:48,140 --> 00:27:49,420
Don't listen to him!
288
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:51,470
Tell them it was him!
289
00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:53,190
He was the one
who didn't squat!
Not me!
290
00:27:53,220 --> 00:27:53,500
Bullshit!
291
00:27:53,540 --> 00:27:54,820
Tell them, and I'll give
the pepelats to you!
292
00:27:54,860 --> 00:27:58,510
Uncle Vova!
The pepelats is mine!
Mine!
293
00:27:58,540 --> 00:28:01,470
Quiet! Calm down!
294
00:28:02,470 --> 00:28:04,190
...Let me think.
295
00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:07,160
Yes, I remember now.
Nobody insulted any authority...
296
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,330
We all were squattin'
and squattin', like monkeys.
297
00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:11,990
You see, Your Honour?
I was wrong. Mixed up.
298
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,310
And it was ME who brought
the ketse here. Not them.
299
00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:19,680
What ketse?
300
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,460
The match you took from the cap.
301
00:28:23,050 --> 00:28:25,440
There was no ketse!
There was none!
302
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,400
Uncle Vova,
what's the matter with you?!
What are you saying?!
303
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,330
Sorry, I forgot.
There was no ketse.
304
00:28:32,630 --> 00:28:34,230
Never.
305
00:28:35,890 --> 00:28:38,840
Life imprisonment for both
in ecikh WITHOUT nails.
306
00:28:38,870 --> 00:28:40,460
Till bail payment.
307
00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:44,340
The bail is 500 chatls,
250 apiece.
308
00:28:45,410 --> 00:28:46,710
(Wef & Bee: )
Thank you!!
309
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,430
Patsak! Glue the violin
and sing the song!
310
00:28:50,670 --> 00:28:52,050
Fiddler! You work the bandura!
Tam ta da dam...
311
00:28:52,090 --> 00:28:56,170
Friends! That was a joke
with the match!
We just wanted to amuse you!
312
00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:00,310
See you!
313
00:29:01,260 --> 00:29:07,170
(Wef sings: ) On the river,
on the river, on yonder bank...
Mary was koo her beautiful wuu...
314
00:29:17,870 --> 00:29:19,940
(Gedevan's letter: )
"Hello, earthling!"
315
00:29:20,180 --> 00:29:24,140
"I knew, one day your explorations
would carry you to this planet."
316
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,410
"Greetings from
Vladimir Nikolaevich Mashkov..."
317
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,370
"...builder from Moscow..."
318
00:29:32,410 --> 00:29:35,320
"...and Gedevan Alexidze from Batumi."
319
00:29:36,150 --> 00:29:39,520
"We two were the first to set foot
onto this wretched sand..."
320
00:29:39,550 --> 00:29:41,000
"...in this backyard of the Universe."
321
00:29:41,070 --> 00:29:44,070
The glue I have is like water!
322
00:29:44,100 --> 00:29:45,890
Brother Patsak,
gimme more of your ruberoid
to glue this thing.
323
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
OK, tell him to give me
something more fot that.
324
00:29:59,090 --> 00:30:01,890
(Gedevan's letter: )
"Maybe at that time..."
325
00:30:01,930 --> 00:30:05,900
"...some people who knew me
are still alive."
326
00:30:06,550 --> 00:30:08,910
"Please tell them, that I didn't
steal a violin..."
327
00:30:08,940 --> 00:30:11,630
There! Good as new!
328
00:30:17,550 --> 00:30:19,560
There's a little bit left.
329
00:30:20,980 --> 00:30:23,520
Yeah, this sort of thing
can happen... sometimes.
330
00:30:36,940 --> 00:30:38,260
Is it nutritious?
331
00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:44,160
Earthlings! You shouldn't
have pressed it like that!
I could hardly find you.
332
00:30:44,190 --> 00:30:46,580
It's good that there is
a dial memory.
333
00:30:46,820 --> 00:30:48,950
Here's your sock back,
thank you.
334
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:51,780
If you wish, I can return you
to the Earth.
335
00:30:51,820 --> 00:30:54,270
I found out your planet number
in the Tenture.
336
00:30:54,740 --> 00:30:59,060
But hurry!
One second here
is half a year there.
337
00:30:59,470 --> 00:31:00,860
Then I have a proposition...
338
00:31:00,890 --> 00:31:02,250
We transfer to the Earth now,
339
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:03,280
procure some matches,
340
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,800
shoot back here and sell them,
341
00:31:04,830 --> 00:31:06,890
bail out our friends.
342
00:31:06,930 --> 00:31:08,610
Then we go to Moscow,
and you go home.
343
00:31:08,650 --> 00:31:10,300
I can't do that.
I only have 3 charges.
344
00:31:10,330 --> 00:31:11,740
Well that's OK.
345
00:31:11,780 --> 00:31:15,620
Enough to go there,
here and back again.
346
00:31:15,650 --> 00:31:17,510
And what about me?
347
00:31:18,580 --> 00:31:19,940
Listen, friend...
348
00:31:29,690 --> 00:31:31,070
- So, make up your mind!
Yes or no?
349
00:31:31,110 --> 00:31:33,650
I’m counting to three...
One... Two...
350
00:31:33,690 --> 00:31:35,680
Wait a minute.
Try to understand me.
351
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,680
It's my fault they are in prison.
352
00:31:38,210 --> 00:31:41,170
Ha! And my little son
has a beard like this by now!
353
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,060
Two and a half!
354
00:31:43,090 --> 00:31:44,790
Earthling! Last chance!
Two and a half!
355
00:31:44,830 --> 00:31:46,490
I... I can't do this.
356
00:31:47,910 --> 00:31:49,450
Three.
357
00:32:07,310 --> 00:32:09,140
Oh! Who needs all this stuff?!
358
00:32:09,790 --> 00:32:13,520
Tsak-schmak! All this crap!
We’ll never...
359
00:32:24,990 --> 00:32:27,290
Where did you get this from?
Huh?
360
00:32:29,420 --> 00:32:31,670
It was just laying around,
in the planetarium, on a shelf...
361
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:36,340
Dear Fiddler!
You kleptomaniac!
362
00:32:36,930 --> 00:32:38,770
It seems like you swiped...
a gravitsapa for us!
363
00:33:26,910 --> 00:33:28,920
Patsaks! Patsaks!
364
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,470
Why are you singing here
on your feet?
365
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:34,480
You’re allowed to sing on your feet
only over there. Not here.
366
00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:37,550
But the ecilop didn’t
let us sing there!
367
00:33:37,910 --> 00:33:40,040
Not my problem. If you sing here,
you may only kneel.
368
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,110
Doesn’t matter...
we’ll stand a while.
369
00:33:43,140 --> 00:33:45,180
You've still got to pay us.
370
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,440
Alright, Patsak, come on...
371
00:33:53,580 --> 00:33:55,590
Be good. Behave yourself.
372
00:34:32,140 --> 00:34:37,040
“Strangers in the koo…”
Uncle Vova, your coat is coming,
wearing my hat.
373
00:34:38,290 --> 00:34:39,760
Hi!
374
00:34:41,660 --> 00:34:43,310
How are things?
375
00:34:46,030 --> 00:34:49,400
What’s new... on Pluke?
376
00:34:53,540 --> 00:34:55,440
Sing!
377
00:34:59,810 --> 00:35:01,820
We seem to be
in bad voice today.
378
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:05,020
Sing!
379
00:36:12,550 --> 00:36:16,630
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
I can't stand this any longer...
380
00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:18,820
Easy, Fiddler.
381
00:36:21,310 --> 00:36:22,900
How much is this?
382
00:36:22,930 --> 00:36:24,340
One hundred.
383
00:36:24,380 --> 00:36:26,510
Seems like we've sung enough.
384
00:36:28,580 --> 00:36:30,000
How much is this one?
385
00:36:30,030 --> 00:36:31,770
50.
386
00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:38,400
Ecilop!
387
00:36:47,210 --> 00:36:48,980
Patsaks!
388
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,580
Why aren't you wearing muzzles?
389
00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:53,830
Turn around!
390
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:59,450
New orders from Mr PJ!
All Patsaks must now
wear muzzles...
391
00:37:00,340 --> 00:37:01,950
...and be glad.
392
00:37:01,990 --> 00:37:05,900
So, this is for me,
and this is for you.
393
00:37:07,490 --> 00:37:09,340
And this is for you.
394
00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:13,230
Why aren't you glad?
Answer me!
395
00:37:17,010 --> 00:37:19,670
Dare to point your gun,
Chatlanian!
396
00:37:24,050 --> 00:37:25,350
Put the muzzle on! Now!
397
00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:27,110
Yes, sir.
398
00:37:27,150 --> 00:37:28,840
- And be glad!
- I’m glad. Ho ho.
399
00:37:30,970 --> 00:37:33,450
Oh look, PJ is here!
400
00:37:34,580 --> 00:37:35,460
Where?
401
00:37:41,140 --> 00:37:42,920
Aaah...
- Get up!
402
00:37:44,870 --> 00:37:46,520
Get up!
403
00:37:47,590 --> 00:37:49,300
Open your mouth!
404
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,370
Open it wider!
405
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,630
Fiddler, a gag!
406
00:37:57,050 --> 00:37:58,880
Quick!
407
00:38:02,670 --> 00:38:04,740
These people...
Turn around!
408
00:38:06,630 --> 00:38:08,110
Nose!
409
00:38:10,420 --> 00:38:12,500
Give me the money back!
410
00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:16,920
OK, hold these... like that!
411
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,590
Take this off!
412
00:38:24,310 --> 00:38:27,060
If you think it’s not
a friggin’ tranklucator,
413
00:38:27,090 --> 00:38:29,810
it'll be the last thought
in your Chatlanian head!
414
00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:33,950
Use the shortest route!
To the ecikh... march!
415
00:38:34,900 --> 00:38:37,560
Everybody down!
For half an hour!
416
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,060
Move!
417
00:38:44,100 --> 00:38:45,370
Move!
418
00:38:46,250 --> 00:38:47,910
Faster!
419
00:38:57,670 --> 00:38:59,560
Excuse me, granny...
- Kyoo!
420
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,210
That was... mama of Mr PJ...
421
00:39:38,180 --> 00:39:40,360
Is it a video of PJ?
422
00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:42,730
No sir... HIMSELF!
423
00:39:44,030 --> 00:39:47,110
Everyone get in the slop… now!
424
00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:00,770
Koo! Open the door!
425
00:40:03,550 --> 00:40:07,390
Stay there for 24 hours!
Koo, or not koo?!
- Koo...
426
00:40:33,940 --> 00:40:35,720
Here it is...
427
00:40:41,690 --> 00:40:42,990
Which number?
428
00:40:43,020 --> 00:40:44,290
The last one.
429
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:12,980
Hello...
430
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,240
- Hey, Chatlanian! Sing!
- Wuu...
431
00:41:19,420 --> 00:41:21,730
Fiddler, stop it.
432
00:41:24,090 --> 00:41:26,400
Wheel out the last but one.
433
00:41:37,700 --> 00:41:39,530
- Kyoo!
- Scat!
434
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,510
Hello, Gedevan Alexandrovich.
435
00:41:58,390 --> 00:41:59,690
Gamardzhoba!
(‘Hi!’ in Georgian)
436
00:42:01,820 --> 00:42:03,780
Get out of the ecikh.
437
00:42:05,490 --> 00:42:06,870
No way.
438
00:42:06,910 --> 00:42:08,620
They'll catch us again.
439
00:42:13,590 --> 00:42:15,370
Hey! We have a gravitsapa.
440
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,870
- Koo!
- Koo, uncle Vova!
441
00:42:38,430 --> 00:42:40,320
Well, koo...
Cut it.
442
00:42:41,620 --> 00:42:43,100
Right here.
443
00:42:50,730 --> 00:42:52,860
All together now!
444
00:43:02,260 --> 00:43:05,570
Uncle Vova!
Help me roll the ecikh out!
445
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,410
Leave it!
446
00:43:08,830 --> 00:43:10,440
Vladimir Nikolaevich!
Humankind worked hard
for thousands of years...
447
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:14,450
...just to get a single stone
from the moon!
448
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:17,640
And here we have a real alien,
and an ecikh...
449
00:43:17,670 --> 00:43:19,950
…made of unknown metal!
450
00:43:20,950 --> 00:43:23,320
I said, leave it!
451
00:43:42,710 --> 00:43:44,090
Tsapa.
452
00:43:44,130 --> 00:43:46,130
Yes sir! Tsapa!
453
00:43:47,390 --> 00:43:49,100
Tsapa!!!
Twirl the tsapa!
454
00:43:49,130 --> 00:43:51,100
I did!
455
00:43:55,250 --> 00:43:56,460
Koo!
Are we flying?
456
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:57,640
She’s warming up!
457
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:01,340
Brothers! Be quick!
Soon, they will come
to their senses!
458
00:44:01,370 --> 00:44:03,060
Don't interfere.
459
00:44:24,940 --> 00:44:26,770
She's landed.
460
00:44:27,130 --> 00:44:29,080
Landed where?
461
00:44:31,090 --> 00:44:32,920
Hanoud.
462
00:44:34,340 --> 00:44:36,310
And what's Hanoud?
463
00:44:36,350 --> 00:44:38,780
The planet where I was born.
464
00:44:38,810 --> 00:44:40,140
And so was I.
465
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:43,760
It’s night.
466
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,050
Now it's always night here.
467
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:47,530
Time to put this on.
468
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:48,260
What for?
469
00:44:48,300 --> 00:44:50,550
There's no bloody air here.
470
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,990
But how do they live here?
471
00:44:53,030 --> 00:44:55,450
Nobody's lived here for years.
472
00:44:56,050 --> 00:45:01,070
The Plukanians completely
tranklucated Hanoud
while we were on tour.
473
00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:02,390
Why?
474
00:45:02,430 --> 00:45:04,560
Because we didn't have time
to do them first.
475
00:45:04,590 --> 00:45:06,520
And why did you want
to do them?
476
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:08,880
So they’d stop hanging
over our heads.
477
00:45:10,180 --> 00:45:11,180
Oh! Did everybody perish?
478
00:45:11,210 --> 00:45:12,780
Of course.
479
00:45:13,850 --> 00:45:16,090
Vova, I've a proposition.
480
00:45:16,510 --> 00:45:18,930
This planet, Hanoud,
now costs kopecks.
481
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:20,310
63 chatls.
482
00:45:20,350 --> 00:45:22,890
We’ll tour the galaxy for a month
singing ‘Mama, Mama’…
483
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,850
…and the planet is ours!
484
00:45:24,890 --> 00:45:27,090
Another month –
and we’ll be able to buy air.
485
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,050
93 chatls.
486
00:45:29,090 --> 00:45:32,470
People lacking air
will rush straight here…
487
00:45:32,500 --> 00:45:34,030
The air belongs to us!
You see?
488
00:45:34,070 --> 00:45:37,380
They'll crawl before us,
and we'll spit on them.
489
00:45:37,410 --> 00:45:39,080
What for?
490
00:45:39,110 --> 00:45:40,700
For fun!
491
00:45:40,740 --> 00:45:42,740
Where's the fun in that?
492
00:45:43,770 --> 00:45:45,150
Too young to understand!
493
00:45:45,190 --> 00:45:49,210
Half of the planet could be yours,
the other half ours. OK?
494
00:45:50,980 --> 00:45:53,170
Oh yeah,
this is very tempting...
495
00:45:54,590 --> 00:45:56,900
…but we need to go back
to Earth, guys.
496
00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,680
Let’s move! The supermarket
closes in half an hour.
497
00:46:04,530 --> 00:46:07,070
Vova, quit messin’ around...
498
00:46:10,090 --> 00:46:12,220
Just look.
499
00:46:14,990 --> 00:46:16,590
We're here.
500
00:46:17,300 --> 00:46:18,900
Earth is there.
501
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:20,900
And there's Alpha.
502
00:46:21,150 --> 00:46:24,280
On Alpha they turn us
into cactuses.
503
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,940
Earth is in the Anti-Tenture,
my friend.
504
00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:30,780
And there's no way
that we can reach it,
got it?
505
00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:33,050
What?!
506
00:46:33,090 --> 00:46:36,700
That’s how it is.
I've had bad luck all my life.
507
00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:40,480
A pepelats can’t get to Earth!
508
00:46:40,510 --> 00:46:42,260
So, Vova, quit arguin'!
509
00:46:42,290 --> 00:46:43,870
Right?!
510
00:46:43,910 --> 00:46:46,100
Let's go and decide
how we will divide the planet.
511
00:46:56,860 --> 00:46:59,590
Did you learn about this
in the planetarium?
512
00:46:59,620 --> 00:47:01,590
Yes, my friend.
513
00:47:01,890 --> 00:47:04,140
That’s why you stole the match?
514
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:06,700
Of course.
515
00:47:06,740 --> 00:47:09,280
They're lying, Uncle Vova.
516
00:47:10,820 --> 00:47:12,650
Don't believe them.
517
00:47:14,370 --> 00:47:17,680
Get us to Earth, that's all!
518
00:47:18,450 --> 00:47:21,290
No, Gedevan, they're not lying.
519
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:27,260
They'd crawl across the whole universe
for a chance to get some matches...
520
00:47:44,650 --> 00:47:48,110
Vova!
You shouldn't joke like that...
521
00:47:48,140 --> 00:47:51,570
This air has only 2% oxygen
of normal.
522
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:57,570
Gedevan... Don't do this.
523
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,940
You're so young. Live!
524
00:49:00,970 --> 00:49:03,720
Maybe things will change...
525
00:49:04,430 --> 00:49:09,390
Fiddler isn't needed, Uncle Vova.
526
00:49:23,590 --> 00:49:26,430
Hey, Patsak!
527
00:49:31,750 --> 00:49:35,120
You’re going to croak anyway...
528
00:49:35,830 --> 00:49:38,450
Tell me the truth for once
in your life.
Why didn't you go home...
529
00:49:38,490 --> 00:49:42,040
...with that transferring jerk
while you could?
530
00:49:43,990 --> 00:49:45,650
What did you want?
531
00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:52,510
Crimson Pants?
PJ's bathhouse?
Tell me!
532
00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:04,330
Gedevan-niko, shvilo
‘my son’ in Georgian)...
Vova doesn’t confess...
533
00:50:04,750 --> 00:50:06,050
You probably know his reasons...
Tell me please!!
You can trust me.
534
00:50:07,590 --> 00:50:10,600
We’re of the same blood.
I have a Georgian mother.
Had.
535
00:50:10,650 --> 00:50:21,020
(Wef & Gedevan
both speak Georgian)
536
00:50:21,250 --> 00:50:26,060
Нe says his mother
is a local Georgian.
Was.
537
00:50:26,100 --> 00:50:31,060
Wef! I don’t care!
I’ll koo them to Alpha!
538
00:50:33,780 --> 00:50:36,740
- What?! Kyoo...
- And you, lousy Chatlanian,
put on the tsak!
539
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,760
And SIT DOWN when you talk
to a Patsak!
540
00:50:39,790 --> 00:50:42,600
Hanoud is a Patsak planet,
my friend!
541
00:50:45,970 --> 00:50:47,500
...Say it again, Vova.
542
00:50:48,510 --> 00:50:54,840
OK, OK. You will eject us
on Alpha, and try to brake
in its orbit, and then...
543
00:50:54,870 --> 00:50:56,140
Like hell! You won't be able
to brake there!
544
00:50:56,170 --> 00:50:58,330
Don't interrupt...
545
00:51:00,220 --> 00:51:01,700
Go on, my friend.
546
00:51:02,530 --> 00:51:06,450
Grr... On Alpha, while they
transfer us to the Earth,
547
00:51:06,490 --> 00:51:09,800
we must hold on to the bottom
of the transfer machine...
548
00:51:09,830 --> 00:51:11,800
...and the gadget will transfer
with us, in our hands.
549
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:16,840
On Earth we'll buy you
4 big crates of matches.
550
00:51:18,910 --> 00:51:20,440
Go on, my friend.
551
00:51:20,980 --> 00:51:23,460
OK, may I stop
repeating this litany?
I’ll do all that, I promise.
552
00:51:24,110 --> 00:51:24,910
Now, let's go!
553
00:51:24,940 --> 00:51:25,670
If we're still going to...
554
00:51:25,710 --> 00:51:28,370
Because of you I'll be a cactus
in a pot forever!
555
00:51:32,150 --> 00:51:35,290
And you don’t even want repeat
such a nice thing once again,
don't you?!
556
00:51:39,130 --> 00:51:41,730
Oh shit… Brothers!
My dear, good friends...
557
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,330
Let's fly, it's really time!
Or at least close this door...
558
00:51:46,110 --> 00:51:48,360
I can't stand the sight of you
any longer,
559
00:51:49,300 --> 00:51:51,260
it makes me sick.
560
00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:58,120
Farewell, my friend.
561
00:52:05,630 --> 00:52:06,630
...And we’re flying.
562
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:12,390
Brake! Brake! Brake!
563
00:52:12,430 --> 00:52:16,390
How can I brake?!
You’ve drunk all our brake fluid!
564
00:52:16,420 --> 00:52:18,390
Alcoholic!
565
00:52:18,700 --> 00:52:20,410
Poor old man, he’s poisoned now.
566
00:52:21,060 --> 00:52:22,540
Turn off your antlers!
567
00:52:22,570 --> 00:52:24,010
They can’t be turned off.
568
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,660
Take them off then!
569
00:52:25,690 --> 00:52:27,270
No! They're fragile.
570
00:52:29,100 --> 00:52:31,060
I think we’ve landed.
571
00:52:35,140 --> 00:52:35,850
That’s how it was the last time.
572
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:36,560
Aha...
Put on your gas mask.
573
00:52:36,730 --> 00:52:37,640
What about tsak?
574
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:39,680
No, they’ll have to do without.
575
00:52:45,070 --> 00:52:47,020
Earth!
576
00:53:10,740 --> 00:53:16,650
(Wef sings: )
On the river, on the river,
on yonder bank...
577
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,580
No... this isn’t Earth.
578
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,320
Hello!
579
00:53:33,030 --> 00:53:35,520
We're Patsaks
from the planet Earth.
580
00:53:35,550 --> 00:53:37,070
And you?
581
00:53:37,110 --> 00:53:39,070
This is the planet Alpha.
582
00:53:39,110 --> 00:53:41,800
Report your co-ordinates
to Ms Dekont,
583
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:44,090
and she will transfer you
to your starting point.
584
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,220
Have a nice day.
585
00:53:48,290 --> 00:53:50,830
Your planet number,
if you'd be so good.
586
00:53:51,540 --> 00:53:54,030
013 in the Tenture.
587
00:53:57,750 --> 00:53:59,490
It’s somewhere here...
588
00:53:59,530 --> 00:54:00,890
Er... about this sector...
589
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:01,670
There.
590
00:54:01,710 --> 00:54:03,670
To the left of Ursa Major.
591
00:54:03,710 --> 00:54:07,630
This is not necessary.
Would you please,
hold your hands.
592
00:54:07,660 --> 00:54:10,640
Young lady, what are you
going to do with these?
593
00:54:10,670 --> 00:54:12,710
They will be placed
into the additional room
of the 1st Greenhouse.
594
00:54:12,740 --> 00:54:13,650
Earthlings, would you please...
595
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:14,510
Miss...
596
00:54:14,550 --> 00:54:15,390
...hold your hands!
597
00:54:15,430 --> 00:54:17,860
Do you really turn people
into cacti?
598
00:54:17,890 --> 00:54:18,940
Only Plukanians.
599
00:54:18,980 --> 00:54:20,980
Oh, but they're not Plukanians.
They're Hanoudians.
600
00:54:21,170 --> 00:54:25,780
This is irrelevant.
Please put on your breathing masks.
601
00:54:26,490 --> 00:54:28,980
Why? You have nice air.
602
00:54:29,010 --> 00:54:30,650
That is precisely why.
603
00:54:30,690 --> 00:54:32,250
Bah! For cryin' out loud!
604
00:54:32,290 --> 00:54:35,250
OK, Gedevan.
Calm down. Put it on.
605
00:54:37,970 --> 00:54:39,860
In the name of our planet,
606
00:54:42,220 --> 00:54:44,470
I'm asking you to let them go.
607
00:54:48,980 --> 00:54:52,100
Who decides their fate?
608
00:54:52,130 --> 00:54:54,760
Abradox. But...
609
00:54:56,420 --> 00:54:57,800
Take us to him.
610
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:02,510
Otherwise I'll take off my mask
and start breathing.
611
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:10,200
You shouldn't worry.
Our greenhouses are
very comfortable.
612
00:55:11,020 --> 00:55:13,450
Blossoming... micro-climate...
serenity.
613
00:55:13,980 --> 00:55:16,050
One should envy them.
614
00:55:16,940 --> 00:55:20,010
Then my dear,
why do you frolic around,
here on the grass...
615
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:21,810
...instead of sitting there
in a plant pot?
616
00:55:21,850 --> 00:55:23,640
Please watch your step.
617
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:25,680
You've already squashed
three plants.
618
00:55:25,930 --> 00:55:27,470
Friend!
619
00:55:28,650 --> 00:55:30,420
We want to ask you something...
620
00:55:30,450 --> 00:55:33,970
No need to continue. NO.
621
00:55:34,500 --> 00:55:39,880
Our proximity to the
Kin-Dza-Dza galaxy
is our greatest problem.
622
00:55:39,910 --> 00:55:42,490
These people are plagued
by yearnings and desires...
623
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,380
Vile desires!
624
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:50,650
To continue their lives
in the form of plants
is a blessing for them.
625
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,600
And for everyone else.
626
00:55:53,130 --> 00:55:58,280
Can we send for them and
ask them what is
a blessing for them and what is not?
627
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:04,370
Well if we were to give them
the possibility to make
any DECISIONS, then...
628
00:56:05,730 --> 00:56:08,680
Hey, girlie! Are you Alphians
the most wise apples here?!
629
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:13,360
Somebody told you that,
or was it your own guess, eh?
630
00:56:13,390 --> 00:56:15,660
Stop it please.
Let’s not waste time.
631
00:56:16,310 --> 00:56:19,410
You are creatures
from the Anti-Tenture,
632
00:56:19,450 --> 00:56:25,720
That means I have an obligation
to transfer you to your starting point.
633
00:56:26,070 --> 00:56:31,690
Or to send you back in time,
to the moment when you made
your fateful decision.
634
00:56:32,340 --> 00:56:34,050
Choose.
635
00:56:34,290 --> 00:56:37,130
Pardon? I didn’t get it.
To what time?
636
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:40,090
I can send you to the past...
back to Pluke.
637
00:56:52,210 --> 00:56:57,710
Friend, I have a proposition:
you transfer one man on Earth...
638
00:56:58,710 --> 00:56:59,710
...and you return another man
to the past…
639
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:05,520
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
I won't allow you on Pluke alone.
640
00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:13,090
Listen, nunky, set it for the past.
641
00:57:24,140 --> 00:57:27,160
How long was I glueing the violin?
About 50 minutes?
642
00:57:28,050 --> 00:57:29,820
About 50.
643
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,210
Brother Patsak...
A guy with a sock will be here soon.
644
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:39,280
Tell him to meet us at the ecikh.
645
00:57:39,310 --> 00:57:40,230
Do you know where it is?
646
00:57:40,260 --> 00:57:41,430
Heck yeah.
647
00:57:41,470 --> 00:57:43,150
So, stay here to show him the way.
648
00:57:43,190 --> 00:57:45,430
OK, tell him to give me
something more for that.
649
00:57:45,460 --> 00:57:47,860
Everybody rests!
For half an hour!
650
00:57:51,410 --> 00:57:53,300
Thank you, my friends.
651
00:58:08,910 --> 00:58:11,160
Play, play, nasty boys.
652
00:58:23,460 --> 00:58:26,000
Fiddler! We don't have time!
653
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:30,140
You haven't transferred again,
you bastards.
654
00:58:30,170 --> 00:58:31,640
Yeah. Get out of the ecikh.
655
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:35,700
Like hell! It's better here
than on Alpha.
656
00:58:35,730 --> 00:58:38,070
Come on, drag them out.
657
00:58:44,870 --> 00:58:47,770
Hey, we'll get a transfer machine
in a minute!
658
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:53,380
Vladimir Nikolaevich!
You owe us 11 000 matchboxes,
as Fiddler has noted!
659
00:58:53,410 --> 00:58:55,450
11 020.
660
00:58:55,630 --> 00:59:01,010
I have a proposition, Vova.
We'll transfer together
right into the supermarket,
661
00:59:01,250 --> 00:59:03,040
and after we buy everything...
662
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:06,570
There is no 'after'.
We’re only going to Earth.
663
00:59:08,940 --> 00:59:10,360
Forever?
664
00:59:11,420 --> 00:59:13,260
Forever.
665
00:59:14,140 --> 00:59:18,700
Me on a planet where they don't
even know who has to squat
in front of whom?
666
00:59:18,870 --> 00:59:20,840
Rubbish.
Give me the gravitsapa
and do what you want.
667
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:24,140
Uncle Wef. Uncle Bee.
You'll be so welcome there...
668
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:29,220
No, Gedevan! When a society
has no colored pants
to differentiate class...
669
00:59:29,250 --> 00:59:32,080
...it’s a society without purpose.
And without a purpose...
670
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:35,020
Brothers. Enough with
the philosophy.
671
00:59:35,310 --> 00:59:37,210
The Transfer Machine Man
will appear right now.
Make up your mind.
672
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:39,000
Are you going with us?
Or not?
673
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:40,990
Just give us the gravitsapa!
Right?!
674
00:59:44,420 --> 00:59:46,020
Give it to them.
675
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:50,810
You’re wrong.
676
00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:03,400
Well, let's say goodbye...
677
01:00:08,900 --> 01:00:11,090
I got used to you, you know.
678
01:00:12,930 --> 01:00:14,400
Me too.
679
01:00:32,970 --> 01:00:35,520
Well, take care.
680
01:00:36,050 --> 01:00:39,890
Friends, Patsaks!
681
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:45,450
Here's your sock back,
thank you. If you wish...
682
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:48,760
Friend!
What system is your gadget?
683
01:00:50,060 --> 01:00:52,310
Might I have a look?
684
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:56,810
Regular system.
You press a button and you’re home.
685
01:01:13,660 --> 01:01:14,730
Hi
686
01:01:15,020 --> 01:01:17,460
Hi - what's new?
687
01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:20,400
Manokhin's had pipes burst
at his building site.
688
01:01:56,830 --> 01:01:58,610
How's our A-student?
689
01:01:58,640 --> 01:01:59,860
He's out playing...
690
01:01:59,880 --> 01:02:02,860
Vova, I forgot to buy bread.
Could you...?
691
01:02:04,870 --> 01:02:07,180
And get some macaroni, OK?
692
01:02:24,860 --> 01:02:26,240
Comrade...
693
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:28,230
How could I get to
the Old Arbat street?
694
01:02:28,260 --> 01:02:29,770
Turn right over there.
695
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:31,430
Thank you.
696
01:02:51,580 --> 01:02:53,600
Koo!!
697
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:56,090
...Fiddler?
698
01:02:59,810 --> 01:03:02,120
Uncle Vova?
699
01:03:08,030 --> 01:03:09,870
...Fiddler!
700
01:03:12,290 --> 01:03:14,420
Uncle Vova!
701
01:03:15,710 --> 01:03:20,100
(Wef and Bee are singing: )
Koo... Wuu...
Mama, mama, what shall I do?
702
01:03:20,220 --> 01:03:24,460
The End
703
01:03:24,500 --> 01:03:27,820
Special Guest Star
Nina RUSLANOVA
as Galina Borisovna
704
01:03:27,860 --> 01:03:29,460
THE PLUKANIANS:
705
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:33,500
Ecilop on patrol: Valentin BUKIN
The Yellow Pants: V. FYODOROV
Charg (Brother Patsak): G. IVANOV
706
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:36,600
White Sectarian: Olesia IVANOVA
Black Sectarian: L. SOLODENKO
Bearded Sectarian: Y.VORONKOV
707
01:03:36,700 --> 01:03:38,700
Colossal Chatlanian Woman
Alexandra DOROKHINA
708
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:41,300
Mr PJ, the Plukanian ruler:
Nikolai GARO
709
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:42,910
Mr PJ's Personal Patsak:
Igor BOGOLYUBOV
710
01:03:43,010 --> 01:03:46,520
The Judge: Gennadi MATVEYEV
Secret Agent: Gennadi YALOVICH
Officer Tooik: Igor KAHN
711
01:03:46,620 --> 01:03:48,730
Mama of Mr PJ: Nina TER-OSIPIAN
Mr PJ's Guard #1: V. GOLUBENKO
Mr PJ's Guard #2: H. SCHWEIZ
712
01:03:48,780 --> 01:03:49,530
FANSUBBING WAS FUN